兴趣是最好的老师，所以我把 Rick and Morty 作为英语精读素材，不走捷径，弄懂每一句台词，模仿并重复剧中的地道口语，反复听上几百遍，终有一日，我相信量变将引发质变。
- 🀄 电波字幕组：创立于 2012 年 7 月，诚心诚译，带给您最优质的英文影视字幕。
- 📥 caption2text：字幕转换为文本工具，支持 ass 及 srt 格式，可批量导出为 Word 及 Text 文件。
- 📽️ QQ 影音：播放视频，右键视频 >
- 📣 Audacity：打开音频 ，
- 导出为 mp3
Rick and Morty
- ✈️ Telegram：上传音频到电报私人群组或频道，随时随地，手机电脑，想听就听。
- 翻译: 朽
- 校对: 史努比嘟
- 后期: Nico
- 压制: 凯撒
Morty, you got to come on.
You got to come with me.
What's going on?
I got a surprise for you, morty.
It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about?
I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up.
别拉得这么用劲儿啊 - 给你个惊喜 Morty
Ow! You're tugging me too hard. - I got a surprise for you, Morty.
What do you... what do you
Think of this flying vehicle, Morty?
I built it out of stuff I found in the garage.
Yeah, Rick, it's
Is this the surprise?
Morty, I had to I had to do I had to I had
To I had to make a bomb, Morty.
I had to create a bomb.
What?! A bomb?!
We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty.
Create a whole fresh start.
T-t-that's absolutely crazy!
Come on, Morty.
Just take it easy, Morty.
It's gonna be good.
Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend jessica.
From my math class?
When I drop the bomb, I don't, you know, I want you to
Have somebody, you know
I want you to have the thing
I'm gonna make it like a new adam and eve, and you're gonna be adam.
Jessica就是夏娃 惊喜吧 Morty
And jessica's gonna be eve, and so that's the surprise, Morty.
No, you can't!
J-jessica doesn't even know I exist.
But but but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity.
I-I get what you're trying to say, M-Morty.
听着 我不 你不 你不用担心
Listen, I'm not you don't y-y-you don't got to worry about me
我不会调戏Jessica 或者玩弄Jessica 之类的
trying to fool around with with jessica or mess around with jessica or anything.
I'm I'm not that kind of guy, Morty.
What are you talking about, Rick?
You you you don't
Have to worry about me getting
With jessica or anything.
She she she she she's all for you, Morty.
I don't care about Jessica!
Morty 没错 你说得对
You know what, Morty? You're right.
Let's forget the girl all together.
She she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways.
Arming neutrino bomb.
That's it that's it, Rick.
I'm taking the wheel.
Get off of me, Morty!
I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy.
What's gotten into you?
I'm I'm I'm i'm not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb...
What are you, crazy?
... person and just let you blow up the whole world.
All right, all right.
I'll I'll land.
I'll land. I'll land.
I'll land the thing.
I'll land the thing.
Big tough guy all of a sudden.
We'll park it right here, Morty.
Right here on the s-side of the r-road here.
Oh, thank god.
You know what? That was all a test, Morty.
Just an elaborate test to make
You more assertive.
Sure. Why not?
I don't I don't know.
You you know what, Mo
Neutrino bomb armed.
I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight.
Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?
Oh, my god.
His head is in his food.
I'm going to puke.
Morty, are you getting sick?
I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow.
The dog sleeps on it.
I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom.
I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something.
Or maybe you were out all night again with grandpa Rick.
What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now?
You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
Oh, my god. My parents are so loud.
I want to die.
Mm, there is no god, summer.
You got to rip that band-aid off now.
You'll thank me later.
无意冒犯 Rick 算了吧 管他有意无意
Okay, with all due respect, rick what am I talking about? What respect is due?
How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging
Him off for high-concept sci-fi rigamarole?
Listen, Jerry, I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything.
It's your house.
It's your world.
You're a real julius caesar.
But I'll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, jerry.
It's a waste of time. A bunch of people running around, bumping into each other.
G-guy up front says, "Two plus two."
The people in the back say, "Four."
Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a
Piece of paper that says you can
Go take a dump or something.
I mean, it's it's not a place for smart people, Jerry.
And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.
This was a good breakfast, Beth.
You really made the crap out of those eggs.
I wish your mother was here to eat them.
All right, now, everybody get settled.
Get away from the windows!
Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today.
You might have heard of it.
It's called math.
没了数学 我们都不会存在 现在开始吧
And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in.
two plus two.
Five plus five.
It's time for the quiz.
Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad!
First row, take one.
Pass it back for me.
The stakes are high in this room.
There's crucial things happening here every day.
People getting smarter.
Some of y'all getting dumber.
Some of y'all ain't gonna see 3:00.
Can I show these to you?
Th-they're both great.
You know what I named these?
My little morties.
Uh, that's flattering... and a little weird.
Do you know what I want you to do with them?
Give them the business.
See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around.
No wrong answers.
Well, okay, Jessica.
L-let's give this a shot.
What are you doing to me?
Uh, I-I'm just doing my best.
What are you doing to me?!
Five more minutes of this,
And I'm gonna get mad.
Not my fault this is happening.
Well, well, well.
Uh, morning, Frank.
"Morning"? What was what is that supposed to mean?
You making fun of me?
Are you trying to say my family's poor?
Oh, geez, frank. I don't know if a knife is necessary.
I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it.
You telling me how to bully now?
Big mistake, Morty.
And now I'm gonna cut you, 'cause my family's rich.
There you are, Morty.
Listen to me.
I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension.
I need an extra pair of hands.
天啊 Rick 你把Frank咋了
Oh, geez, Rick. W-what'd you do to frank?
It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him.
Now listen. I need your help, morty.
I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here
And go take care of business.
很重要 快来 Morty
It's important. Come on, morty.
I don't know, rick.
I-I can't leave school again.
Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty?
What do you think? I can just do it all by myself?
Aw, geez. Okay.
I guess I can skip history.
What about Frank?
I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?
I'll do it later, Morty.
He'll be fine.
天 我要遇上Frank Palicky了
Oh, my god. I'm about to walk past frank Palicky.
This is the story we'll be telling our children.
My manager gave me an hour for lunch, and I thought,
"Hey, why not swing by where your wife works?"
We're losing him.
Okay, he's back.
Jerry, please tell me you're here for an incredibly urgent reason.
Well, it's lunch.
I mean, it's one of three meals that have existed for millennia.
Okay, I only ask, Jerry, because, as you know, my job involves performing heart surgery.
Well, yeah, on horses.
Okay. Let's not rehash that fight.
I sense that you're busy and will now be on my way.
What is this on the floor?
Some kind of literature for a really nice-looking nursing home.
亲爱的 突发奇想 咱把你爸送进去吧
Hey, honey, crazy idea bad pitch let's put your dad here.
Let's put your dad in a nursing home.
We're losing him.
Hey, Tom. We know when we're losing him.
We can hear the beeps!
好了 来吧 Morty 我们走
There she is. All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go.
Oh, geez. Okay.
Oh, man, Rick.
What is this place?
It's dimension 35c, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of
Tree, morty, called a mega tree,
And there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits.
I'm talking about mega seeds.
They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty.
Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place,
And I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.
All right. All right.
冷静点 听我说 Morty
Calm down. Listen to me, morty.
I know that new situations can be intimidating.
You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but,
You know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull
that's how we grow as people.
I'm no stranger to scary situations.
I deal with them all the time.
Now, if you just stick with me, Morty,
我们一定会 妈呀 快跑 Morty
we're gonna be... Holy crap, Morty, run!
I never seen that thing before in my life.
I don't even know what the hell it is!
We got to get out of here, morty!
It's gonna kill us!
We're gonna die!
We're gonna die, morty!
Oh, Morty, take a deep breath.
Breathe that, breathe that fresh air in, morty.
Y-you smell that?
That's the smell of adventure, Morty.
That's that's the smell of of of of a whole different evolutionary timeline.
All right, Rick,
Look how much longer is this gonna be?
Shouldn't I be back at school by now?
Are you joking me?
I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us.
Look at that thing right there.
W-what the hell is that thing?
You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?
Look at it just lumbering around.
It defies all logic that thing.
Yeah, Rick, I get it.
We're surrounded by monsters.
That's kind of the reason why I want to leave.
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?
You see what we just stumbled upon, morty?
Any idea what that is down there?
The mega trees?
That's right, Morty
The mega trees with the mega fruit on them.
我要的就是这个呀 Morty 种子就在那儿
And that's what I'm talking about, morty. That's where my seeds are.
If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have
Found them, because y because you're so in love with school.
All right, all right.
So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?
You ask a lot of questions, Morty.
Not very charismatic.
It makes you kind of an under underfoot figure.
Just take these shoes, Morty.
They're sp special grappling shoes.
When you're wearing these things ba these babies,
You can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty
往上 往下 倒立 转到左边
Up, down, below, turn around to the left.
These things really bring it all together.
You have to turn them on, Morty!
The shoes have to be turned on!
I am not putting my father in a home!
He just came back into my life,
And you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress
like last month's victoria's secret?
I told you I was ordering you something for valentine's day.
More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son.
Everything cool in here, Beth?
It's fine, Davin.
You know, we did something great today.
There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse.
Since we're fighting,
If you ever have an affair with that guy,
I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out
all over your naked bodies.
Look, I appreciate the stress you're under,
but morty was having trouble in school way
Before my dad moved in,
and the only influence I can see rick having is that, for the first time in his life,
Morty has a friend.
Well, maybe you're right.
Uh, yeah, maybe I am.
I'm my father's daughter.
Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?
Horse heart surgeon.
This is principal Vagina no relation.
I wonder if you and morty's father might be able to have a
Chat with me this afternoon?
Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now.
You know, you got to turn the shoes on, morty, for them to work.
Yeah, look I turned mine on.
I had no problem getting down here.
It was a leisurely breeze.
I'm in a lot of pain, rick.
Yeah, I can see that.
But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, morty?
Are you kidding me?!
That's it, Rick!
That's the last straw!
I can't believe this
I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken,
and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?!
Ooh! Ow! Oh!
Y-y-you're a monster.
Y-you're like hitler, but but even hitler cared about Germany or something.
好吧 等我一下 Morty
Okay, hold on just a second, morty.
Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly.
I mean, I've never felt so good in my life.
Don't worry about it, Morty.
Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?
Sure thing, Rick.
Not that you asked,
Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future
Dimension with such advanced medicine
that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore.
The stuff was all over the place, morty.
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
There's just one problem, Morty, one little hang-up.
The dimension I visited was so advanced,
they had also halted the aging process,
and everyone there was young, morty, and they had been forever.
I was the only old person there, morty.
It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around.
I-I was fascinating to them.
There were a lot of attractive Women there, morty,
and they they they they all wanted time with me.
I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies,
but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device
it's got no charge left, Morty.
It's got no charge left.
It's as good as garbage, morty.
It's not gonna work anymore, morty.
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good.
W-what are we gonna do?
I-I have to be back at school right now.
How are we gonna get back home?
There's ways to get back home, Morty.
It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle.
We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs,
so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.
When we get to customs,
I'm gonna need you to take these seeds
into the bathroom,
and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.
In my butt?
Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.
Oh, geez, Rick.
I really don't want to have to do that.
Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty.
Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs
unless they're in someone's rectum, morty.
And they'll fall right out of mine.
I've done this too many times, morty.
I mean, you're young.
You've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable.
You got to do it for Grandpa, morty.
Y-you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.
In my butt?
Come on, morty. Please, morty.
You have to do it, Morty.
The fact is, your son, morty,
Has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.
Why didn't you notify us?
I done been notifying you.
Have you not been getting the messages
I've been leaving with morty's grandfather?
Told you! In your face!
He is ruining our child!
Wait, what am I celebrating?
Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there,
Because it's usually morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school.
What kind of god lets this happen?
We had a little incident.
A student was frozen to death.
And there's no evidence that a latino student did it!
Everyone wants to take this to a racial place.
I won't let them.
So, I told him, "Give me the blimfarx," You know?
This this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.
It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like,
that's what we eat on Girvonesk.
I don't like it here, Morty.
I can't abide bureaucracy.
I don't like being told where to go and what to do.
I consider it a violation.
Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?
Let's just get this over with, okay?
I mean, these things are pointy.
That means they're good ones.
You're a good kid, Morty.
Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work.
You've been a huge help to me.
I'm gonna be able to do all kind of things with them.
It's gonna be great, Morty.
All kinds of science.
Okay, next through.
Except you. You go over there.
Why does he have to go over there?
He's got to go through the new machine.
What new what new machine?
It's a new machine.
It detects stuff all the way up your butt.
跑啊 Morty 快跑
Run, Morty! Run!
Don't think about it!
Oh, nice, Morty!
The student becomes the teacher.
Aw, hell, no, dawg.
You know me I'm just trying to... Aah!
I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, morty.
Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody.
他们是机器人Morty 随便打 他们是机器人
They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!
My leg is shot off!
Glenn's bleeding to death!
Someone call his wife and children!
They're not robots, Rick!
It's a figure of speech, Morty.
They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them.
Just keep shooting, Morty.
You have no idea what prison is like here!
This is insane!
Come on, morty!
We got to get the hell out of here!
Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?
Well, you know, my my ferrari's in the shop.
Ju just kidding.
You're Morty, right?
You can get his number later.
Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here.
You got to get those seeds out of your ass.
Oh, look, Honey.
It's our son with Albert Ein-douche.
I'm an angry father, not an improvisor.
Oh, hi, Jerry.
Oh, my goodness, Morty!
What are you doing out of class?
We talked about this. Your your parents and I
are very disappointed in in this behavior.
No? No takers?
You guys should really not be touching that stuff.
It's beyond your reasoning.
You're beyond our reasoning!
Takes one to know one.
Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school?
I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl.
He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
We're moving you... to a nursing home.
A nursing home?
What are what are you, nuts?
I'm a genius.
I build robots for fun.
Well, now you can build baskets
and watch Paul Newman movies on vhs and
mentally scar the boy scouts every christmas.
What does that mean?
Dad, mom, c-come on.
Rick just needed my help is all.
Morty, stay out of this.
You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
What are you trying to say about morty?
That he's stupid or something?
Oh, don't high-road us, dad.
You know fully well that morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
I-I-I don't know what you mean by that.
Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
Oh, for crying out
He's got some kind of disability or something.
Is that what you want us to say?
Well, duh doy, son.
Look, I love you, morty, but we both
know you're not as fast as the other kids, and
if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.
Aw, geez, dad.
Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
Oh, come on, Rick.
You know I can't.
The square root of pi,
What the hell?
Holy crap. He's right.
Morty, tell your parents the first law of thermodynamics.
"The increment in the internal energy of a system is
Equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system."
Wow! I'm so smart!
I told the both of you school is stupid.
It's not how you learn things.
Morty's a gifted child.
He has a special mind.
That's why he's my little helper.
He's like me.
He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life.
He's too smart for school.
H-he needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.
No, I-I understand.
Uh, maybe we overreacted.
But he has to keep going to school.
You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do?
Say say no?
You you really wear the pants around here.
I just want you to know, between us, from now on,
it's gonna be 100% honesty and open, clear communication.
Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
No idea what you're talking about.
Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour.
Don't stay up all night again.
This is good, though.
This can work.
I think we can be a family.
Beth 如果你愿意的话 我想和你去床上
And now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.
You know what?
Holy cow, Rick.
I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
Full disclosure, morty it's not.
Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect
of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor Skills,
and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, morty.
Starting right about now.
I'm sorry, morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come.
And I needed those seeds real bad,
and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back,
so now we're gonna have to go get more.
And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, morty.
And you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, morty, because
The world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important,
and they'll tear us apart, morty.
But if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things,
Morty, and you're gonna be part of them,
and together, we're gonna run around, Morty.
We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, morty.
就你和我 Morty - 不啊不
Just you and me, morty. - Oh, no, no.
The outside world is our enemy, morty.
We're the only friends we've got, Morty.
It's just rick and morty
Rick and morty and their adventures, morty.
Rick and morty forever and forever 100 years
rick and morty's things.
Me and rick and morty running around,
and rick and morty time.
All day long, forever.
All a hundred days.
Rick and morty forever 100 times.
Over and over,
www.Rickandmortyadventures. All 100 years.
- 翻译: 朽
- 校对: 史努比嘟 Kimmu
- 后期: Nico
- 压制: 凯撒
Why are you looking at me?
You want to go outside?
Are you kidding me?! Come on!
Oh, my god.
Your idiot dog!
Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad.
对吧 嗅嗅 好孩子
D-did you, Snuffles? You're a good boy.
Don't praise him now, Morty!
He just peed on the carpet!
Bad dog! Bad!
Morty 快来 我今晚要你帮忙
Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.
Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick.
You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing
You could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry.
If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread.
Come on, Morty.
Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free
And use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do
Is put a little bit of it to use for the family.
You make that dog smart or...
Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry.
All right, Ruffles
What's his name?
Go to the bathroom.
妈啦 - 我的天
Holy crap! - No way.
Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry.
Come on, Morty.
That was fantastic, Rick!
Yeah, morty, if you like that.
boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one.
W-w-w-what is it?
It's a device, Morty,
That when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty.
It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about.
You talking about "Inception"?
That's right, Morty.
This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna maybe make sense.
"Inception" Made sense.
You don't have to try to impress me, Morty.
Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and
We're g we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you a's in math, Morty.
That way you can, you know
Y-you're gonna help me with my science, Morty, all the time.
Geez, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing,
couldn't you have just, you know, helped me with my homework?
Are you listening to me, morty?
Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it.
J-j come on, let j let's just get over there and deal with this thing.
W-we're gonna incept your teacher.
Y-y-y-y-y-you're frustrating me.
You don't know me!
好啊 Pancakes太太 好极了啊
Nice, Mrs. Pancakes real nice.
Next week on "The days and nights of Mrs. Pancakes"...
You don't know me!
Then let me get to know yo, damn it!
I'm a full season behind.
Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house.
It's really weird.
It's about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty.
Wheat thins. Wheat thins.
I'll take two.
Oh, I think you've had enough, sir.
You don't know me.
好了 Morty 是时候动手了
All right, Morty, time to make our move.
Make it bounce.
No, you didn't.
Oh, jiggle it now.
You better stop with that.
We're gonna take control of this plane!
如果不给Morty Smith更好的数学成绩 我们就重演911
We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!
Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!
The name's not buddy.
Nice to wheat you!
Take cover, Morty!
Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated.
I mean, the guy teaches high-school math.
I-I-I-I didn't take him for an active dreamer.
We got to take him out so he wakes up, Morty.
But we can't get killed.
If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real, Morty.
What?! Are you kidding me?!
Don't be a baby!
You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty.
Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine!
Now bring me my slippers.
Now, be my footstool, snuffles.
This is what I'm talking about.
This is a dog.
Oh, yeah. This should play out just fine.
You said the same thing, equally sarcastically, at our wedding
and guess what.
Oh, my god. He's trying to tell us something.
That is so awesome.
Aw, he's saying "I love lasagna."
He's saying "I love Obama."
I'm posting this online, like, right now.
I should call Bob Saget.
美国喜剧演员 主持人 曾主持过《全美最搞笑家庭视频》
Is that still a thing?
Goldenfold, we're coming out!
We just want to talk!
Why would I negotiate with you?
Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen.
And because I have a human shield.
Oh, no, Morty. His subconscious is panicking.
Look! Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute.
Hey, you don't know me!
Oh, no, Rick, look!
Goldenfold landed the plane,
And he's created a mechanical arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes out of the air
while he lets us fall into a giant vat of lava!
Pretty concise, Morty.
Looks like we've merely prolonged the inevitable.
That's it, morty!
Prolonging the inevitable!
Listen, if we go into Mrs. Pancakes' dream, everything will go 100 times slower, Morty.
That'll buy us some time to figure this out!
You don't know...
All right, let's go.
天啊 Rick 这好诡异啊
Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird.
Don't judge, Morty.
Okay. All right, well...
Look, Mrs. Pancakes is right over there.
I'll just go ask her to tell Goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up.
不行 Morty 植入想法的要点就在于
Whoa, whoa, Morty, the trick to incepting is making
People think theycame up with the idea.
Listen to me.
If we're gonna incept Mrs. Pancakes, we have to blend.
I'll talk to you after lunch.
Ooh, oh! Oh, man.
来一起玩嘛 - 不用了
Come and join us. - I'm sorry. No, no.
来嘛 - 算了吧
Ooh, come here! - No, thanks!
Ooh, wow! Come over here, baby!
No, I'm okay.
Hey, there, stranger.
What do you think of these things?
Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross!
你干啥呢 Morty 冷静点
What's the matter with you, Morty? Calm down!
You're kind of killing the vibe in here.
Looks like Goldenfold has some predilections so shameful
he buries them in the dreams of the people in his dreams,
including a pervy attraction to your underage sister.
Can you blame him?
来嘛 老汉 小娃
Come on, old man, little boy.
Let's make an inter-generational sandwich.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god!
Put some clothes on, for Pete's sake!
This is disgusting!
I'm gonna puke!
I can't take it, Rick!
Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death!
Off with their heads!
Time to go another dream deep, Morty!
What the hell?
Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs. Pancakes' dream version
of a centaur be dreaming about a scary place like this, Rick?
Geez, I don't know, Morty.
Wha-what do you want from me?
Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!
Oh, here we go!
Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an
'80s horror character with
miniature swords for fingers instead of knives.
I'm Scary Terry.
尽管跑 但别想躲起来 贱人
You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!
Whoa! Hey, buddy. What you got going on there?
Snuffles fix. Make better.
Humans understand snuffles now?
That... is... awesome!
Snuffles want to be understood.
Snuffles need to be understood.
Okay, yeah. I get what Beth was talking about.
Whoa, Dad, you can't, like, endow a creature with sentience and then rip it away.
I don't know. It's Indian giving.
A sophisticated predator, nature's perfect killing machine,
the vicious wolf stalks its prey with purpose and skill.
It was only with years of
selective breeding and genetic altering that this noble beast
was transformed into man's subservient little buddy.
Aw! Oh, my god!
He recognizes the other dogs on tv.
"A," "B" his name is scary terry
"C," "D" he's very scary
Holy crap! We have to escape into someone else's dreams, Morty!
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!
"E," "F" he'll design your death
The little girl!
"J," "K," He'll really ruin your day
Are you kidding me?
Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, Morty.
Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good.
Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch!
Holy crap, Morty.
He can travel through dreams.
He can travel through dreams!
We're so screwed!
Where are my testicles, Summer?
Where are my testicles, Summer?
They were removed.
Where have they gone?
Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles.
Do not call me that!
"Snuffles" Was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball
Because my fur is pretty and white.
行 雪球 冷静点好吗
Okay, Snowball, just calm down, okay?
You're scaring me.
Tell me, Summer, if a human was born with stumpy legs,
would they breed it with another deformed human
and put their children on display like the dachshund?
Hey. Oh, wow. Okay, is is is everything okay in here?
Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again?
不 不是 我们就是过来看看Summer
No! No, we were... uh, just seeing if Summer wanted to... uh...
Go on, um, one of our famous midnight family walks!
You will walk when it is time to walk.
What are we here for again? Incepting?
We're trying to incept me to get an "A" In math?
Buckle up, bitch!
Man, he sure says "Bitch" A lot!
You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!
等等 Morty 他不停说我们可以跑但是别躲
Hold on, Morty. Y-you know what? He keeps saying we can run but we can hide.
I say we try hiding.
But that's the opposite of what...
Yeah, well, since when are we taking this guy's advice on anything?
Hey, you know what? You got a really good point there, Rick.
Like, if the truth was that we could hide,
it's not like he'd be sharing that information with us, you know?
I-I-I think it's a good idea, Rick.
Worst-case scenario we're back to running.
Wow, you know what? I mean, it looks like we could have just hid this whole time.
Boy, Rick, that was some good thinking.
Yeah, it's nice to be on the same page every once in a while.
You can run...
But you can't hide!
Oh, this is perfect, Morty.
Look at that. He's getting sleepy.
Just a little bit longer before he calls it a day.
That's when we make our move.
Snuffles, we didn't mean you any harm!
This is a huge misunderstanding.
Dad, he wants to be called Snowball.
Well, I'm not calling him that.
You're being very aggressive, Jerry.
Perhaps tomorrow Dr. Scraps will solve that problem with a bit of surgery.
You think you can control me with a haircut?
Hi, Honey. You're home early.
How was your day?
I don't want to talk about... It!
Oh, of course. You never want to talk about it.
Get off my back, bitch!
Out there. Not in here.
Yeah, I know, I know.
I shouldn't take my anger out on you or Scary Brandon.
I love you, Melissa.
I love you, too, Terry.
Morty, this is perfect.
After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep and then we'll incept him.
Looks like Scary Terry's having a nightmare.
Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know, scare Scary Terry.
哦不 我上课要迟到了 贱人
Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch!
Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!
Ah, well, Mr. Terry, why don't you tell the whole class
the proper wordplay to use when one is chasing one's victim through a pumpkin patch?
呃 呃 "贱人"
Oh... um... "Bitch."
Oh, come on, Terry, you can't think of a pun involving pumpkins, bitch?
Hey, leave him alone!
Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap.
Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone?
Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?
Well, I never! I-I see no reason to stand here and take this.
You're putting too much pressure on yourself, Scary Terry.
You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is.
Hey, yo, Scary T.
Don't even trip about your pants... dawg.
Here's a pair on us, fool.
噢 贱人 我都不知道该说什么了
Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say.
You don't need to say anything.
We got you, dawg.
You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip.
Oh, hey, it's you guys!
I haven't seen him this relaxed in years.
If you guys ever need anything, just say the word.
As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with.
"Q," "R," You won't get very far
I always hated that song!
These halves don't belong together, bitch!
Sex is sacred!
叫你不给Morty Smith好成绩 贱人
This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!
Holy crap! God damn!
I know one thing for sure I'm giving morty an "A" In math, and that's my idea.
That is an original thought.
What the hell?
Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, Morty?
Oh, man, what's going on?
Well, it's possible
that your dog became self-aware
and made modifications on the cognition amplifier,
then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after
learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but
Your guess is as good as mine, Morty.
I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart.
This is why I choose to get C's
嘿 Beth Jerry Summer
Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.
Oh, thank god, Morty.
Oh, you're welcome.
All right, let's get out of here.
If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something
before the dogs completely take over.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere.
This is my house.
I'm not abandoning it.
It's all over, Jerry.
The dogs are on a path to total world domination.
But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?
Wait a minute. I have an idea.
Gentlemen, a moment of your time.
I'm peeing all over your special guns.
That means I own them.
Bad person. Bad.
Ooh, great plan, Jerry.
Bring the boy to me.
You were always kind to me, Morty.
That's why I will leave you with your testicles.
从现在起 你是我最好的朋友 留在我身边
From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side.
Begin phase two.
Fighting continues as the dog army captures the Eastern seaboard.
It appears clear at this time that the era of human superiority has come to a bitter end.
Please! Please don't kill me!
What's she saying, Bill?
I think she's saying, "I love lasagna."
human testicles 人睾丸
Thank you, Fido.
Rick! I thought you were dead!
No, no, no, I was just playing dead.
Good news, though, Morty.
This whole thing's gonna be over really soon.
It's a dream, Morty.
We're in your dog's dream.
The night the dogs captured us,
你吓哭了 拉在了裤子里 然后我们都睡着了
after you cried and crapped your pants, we... we all went to sleep.
Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream.
But I-it's been like a whole year!
It's been six hours.
Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog
Time is one-seventh human time.
So, you know, every day here is like a minute.
就和《盗梦空间》一样 把人搞得很晕 而且很蠢
It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid,
then so is everyone's favorite movie.
Aw, man. I really liked this life.
Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.
不 这事儿是真的 在你睡着之前就拉了
No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty.
You're sleeping in your crap right now.
Out of all the things that happened to you,
that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants.
I mean, it's a mess out there.
I got some on my hands, Morty,
And then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth.
Aw, man, geez! Seriously?
Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty.
Here, here take these, Morty. Take these.
Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?
It's gonna make your kidneys shut down.
It's necessary for the plan, Morty.
Don't even trip, dawg.
It's pretty bad, Emperor Snowball.
We're gonna need to do another operation.
Anything for my precious Morty.
Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that
these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy.
You could lose your kingdom.
To hell with my kingdom, bean counter.
I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness.
Do you think they would have done this for us?
We are not them!
We are not... them.
Assemble the troops.
I've made a decision.
Taking over the human's world
will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty.
Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs.
One that will not make the same mistakes as humanity
and one where pet insurance will be mandatory.
I'm gonna miss you, Snowball.
You can call me Snuffles, Morty
and I'm going to miss you, too, very much.
It's just like the end of "Old Yeller."
Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it.
Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs.
I wonder what it'll be like, Rick.
I think it will be great, Morty.
You know, it's g I-I-I-I-it could be developed in-into
a very satisfying project for people of all ages.
I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop.
You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven.
You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick.
What do you know, Morty?
What do you know?
I'm your new teacher for scary class.
My name is Scary Mr. Johnson.
Uh, actually, you know what?
That's my dad's name, so why don't you just call me Scary Glenn, yeah?
So, anyway, I understand your previous teacher
was having you work on fundamentals of fear.
Which is... what is that?
You know? So, uh, here here's what I say
you can't learn anything
until you learn... how to chill.
This is how you dream, bitch.
- 翻译: 朽
- 校对: 史努比嘟 死不睡觉斯基
- 后期: 大块头要冷静
- 压制: 凯撒
Last king christmas last arrived
On the christmas christmas
Mmm. Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.
Um, merry christmas. Hello?
My parents are coming over for the first time in years.
Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?
Alive? For your parents?
Mm, good one.
This holiday is about humanity.
You know, I thought it was about being born half-god or something.
Whatever. All electronic items are going in the stocking now.
Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.
Put it in the stocking, summer, or I'm joining facebook.
A-ho, ho, ho, everybody.
More like "Whoa, whoa, whoa."
What is this? My parents are coming!
Calm down, Jerry.
This is Reuben, an old friend.
I check in on him once a year and give him a little medical evaluation.
Aww! Dad, that is so sweet!
呵呵 真感人 我不懂了
Yeah, it is. I don't get it.
Don't worry about your C-christmas, Jerry.
I'll be with Reuben in my workshop
while you guys are having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.
Phil Collins 《Another Day in Paradise》 讲述跟穷困的人们比起来我们过得就像天堂
Huh. You think you know a guy.
Okay, there's my parents.
别看电视 别玩手机 别碰电脑
Now, remember no tv, no phones, no laptops.
We are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a saturday.
Merry christmas, son.
Can I help you?
Jerry, this is Jacob.
Didn't you get our text message?
You must be Jerry.
That's a fine-looking apron.
But thank you.
So, you're a... friend of the family?
Uh, the way we see it, he's a part of the family.
After your father's brush with cancer
and losing your uncle, we looked at life and wondered, how have we spent it,
And how do we spend the rest of it?
What are we going to be when we die
a list of fears and questions
or a collection of real experiences?
天啊 Joyce 真了不起
Holy crap. Joyce, that's amazing.
Then Jacob came into our lives, and... we're learning to live again.
All three of us.
Now we are talking! This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh?
嗨 Joyce Leonard
Hi, Joyce. Leonard.
Merry christmas, man.
Morty, a moment of your time?
He's in bad shape, morty.
天啊 Rick 你干了啥
Aw, geez, Rick. What'd you do?
呵呵 Morty 你把我当成什么了
Gee, thanks, Morty. W-w-what kind of monster do you think I am?
I-I-I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life.
I need your help.
I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom.
He'll know what's going on.
Uh, w-w-w-where where do I find dr. Bloom?
Reuben on the table, morty.
Look, I-I-I I don't have time for you to wrap your little walnut around everything.
Just hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse.
Hey, dad, where's Morty?
Morty, can you hear me?
Rick, where am I?
Depending on my aim, you should be just south of the entrance.
Entrance to what?
Welcome... ... to Anatomy park!
It's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side with Dr. Bloom
An amusement park inside a human body.
Science isn't ch-cheap, morty. This should really help put a dent in the overhead.
Oh, my god! This is insane!
Pirates of the pancreas?
You got a problem with that last one, Morty?
Huh? No, no.
I'm just reading'em out loud in the order that I'm seeing'em.
Okay. All right. If I sounded a little defensive,
It's because pirates of the pancreas was my baby.
You know, I got I got a lot of pushback when I pitched it, Morty.
I guess I'm still a little defensive.
Let's just find dr. Bloom, all right?
I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty.
Proceed to the liver.
Arriving at... ... liver.
Mind the gap.
It's really scary in here, Rick.
The liver's under maintenance.
Reuben's seen some rough years, Morty.
You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your life's going great.
Rick! It's a monster!
No, no, no. Morty.
The only monster here is alco...... holism.
That is an animatronic werewolf.
Who are you?!
Where'd you come from?
My my my grandpa Rick sent me!
Poncho! That's quite enough.
Morty, that's Poncho.
This is Roger and Annie.
And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom.
嗨 Bloom 我是Rick
Hey, Bloom, it's Rick.
What the hell's going on here?
I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down
and I'm afraid... the exhibits are unlocked.
Anatomy park's greatest attraction, young man,
不是音乐 食物 或者
isn't the music or the food or the...
Pirates of the pancreas.
It is, first and foremost, a living museum of humanity's most noble and ferocious diseases.
嘿 博士 最新消息
Hey, doc. I got news for you.
Your living museum is officially a wild safari!
Hepatitis A! Run!
Oh, the food goes in your mouth, girl.
I-I'm sorry, Jacob.
I-I guess I'm still confused about
the precise nature and origin of your relationship with my parents.
Are you, like, uh are you, like, their caretaker? Is that what it is?
We can go into detail later, son.
Now, wait. Th-there's no point to secrecy.
Let's all live and die honestly.
Your mother and I have shared 40 years of each other, mind, body, and soul,
and when minds and souls are joined for eternity
and when eternity is At the door,
it's an invitation to let go of the body
and an opportunity to share and experiment.
Dad, please. What are you saying?
不管说的是什么 听上去都很美好 Leonard 我们支持你
Whatever it is, it's beautiful, Leonard, and we support you.
Hey, speak for yourself
because it sounds like you're about to say jacob is your lover.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Jacob is your mother's lover.
I watch them sometimes from a chair
and sometimes from a closet, almost always dressed as superman.
Jerry, this ham has got to be all you, right?
真有人情味儿啊 节日快乐 爸
Happy human holiday, dad.
Hepatitis won't follow us into the respiratory system.
Airflow is down 20%.
So, the brain isn't getting enough oxygen.
That's why security's offline.
Well, I guess we better check it out.
Hey! Wait for me!
Put that back on!
If we got up to the bronchial catwalk, we could look for a blockage.
Don't be a hero, kid.
I'm doing it because it's fun.
We shouldn't be here.
Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here.
We must save Reuben.
This is my life's work.
It's all right, my dear.
Nearly all human lungs contain a strain of these bacteria, but
The scar tissue keeps them... Dormant.
Morty, get down!
Oh, what are those things?
Tuberculosis coming in fast!
Not faster than a bullet!
No! Do you know what you've done?!
Get to the digestive tract!
Don't let me die!
Just take a deep breath, Reuben.
You're not gonna die!
What's your name?
My name is... Alexand
Rick R-r-reuben's got tuberculosis!
Oh, great work, Morty.
Okay, I'll just cure it and then
Well, I can't cure death.
This is bad, morty.
You're trapped in a dead man.
Listen, if the situation keeps darkening, do yourself a favor
And pop by pirates of the pancreas.
Obviously I'm biased, but I think it's great, morty.
It's a bunch of pirates running around a pancreas.
We don't whitewash it, either, Morty.
I mean, the pirates are really rapey.
The top priority is to get, you know, you guys out of there, but
I'm just saying, if that becomes impossible, please, you gotta treat yourself.
Oh, man. W-w-w-what is that horrible smell?
You mean the panda express?
Kidding. I-I'm kidding.
The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas.
We're inside a corpse, my boy.
Anatomy park is doomed.
Forget about the park, doctor!
How do we get out?
The digestive tract is the evacuation route.
There's an emergency station in the colon with a ray that can enlarge us all.
Everybody, head for the colon!
Now I'm taking orders from a 12-year-old boy?
Morty, the scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged.
This disaster was an inside job.
Keep your eye on Annie.
She was written up several times by her manager at the churro stand.
进了肠道先往左 然后往右 再往左 以此类推
Intestines are ahead to the left, then to the right, then left, et cetera.
那啥 我其实十四了 所以 你懂的...
Hey, just so you know, i-I-I'm actually 14. So, you know...
You know, because he just said I was 12.
Oh. Good for you.
啊哦 出师不利啊 Morty
Oof. Ugh. Morty. Strike one.
It's a road of wonder, a trail of food
It's a pathway to break up the bad and good
It's a tube that digests and then sends out the rest
It's a small, small intestine
It goes on like this for miles.
Then we get to the large intestine!
Shh! I hear something.
Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move.
Wait, I was wrong. I was thinking of a T. Rex.
We're sitting ducks!
Doc, didn't you say that the body was filling with gas?
Kid, you're a genius.
Are you mad?!
Everybody, in here!
嘿 淋球菌 尝尝灼痛(淋病症状之一)的感觉吧
Hey, gonorrhea! How's this for a burning sensation?
Drummer drum drum
drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum
Oh, sing it, Summer
小哥在敲 - 我真喜欢听你唱歌|
Being played by a bo-o-o-y- oh I love to hear you sing.
Jerry 别这样 你不就想要这样吗
Jerry, come on. This is what you wanted.
我懂的 Beth 愿不能乱许
I get it, Beth. Be careful what you wish for.
I'm being punished for taking your iPad.
What? Jerry, let that stuff go, okay?
I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier.
Let's just be here.
Summer - Ethan
Summer! - Ethan?
What are you doing here?
I've been texting you for hours!
What the hell?!
I don't have my phone! I'm doing a human holiday!
Well, did you even consider how that might make me feel?!
How you feel?!
Why is everything always happening to you?!
Summer, do you have a boyfriend?
是啊 Summer 你有吗
Yeah, do you, Summer?
我不知道啊 Ethan 我有吗
I don't know, Ethan. Do I?!
Jerry 无意冒犯 但是你真得和家人好好增进下感情啊
Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to connect more with your family, man.
I should be able to access the backup generator to get the growth ray online.
If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes.
I just hope Reuben's not in a room with white carpets or upholstery.
What the hell is that?
The sphincter dam.
We built it when Reuben became incontinent,
but it was not designed to hold a corpse load.
I've almost got it.
Everybody, move inside the circle.
Poncho? What is this in your backpack?
That's bubonic plague!
What are you doing with that, Poncho?
Everybody, get back!
Poncho, you son of a bitch!
You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me?
That's right, baby.
A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population.
I'll take the highest bidder
基地组织 朝鲜 共和党人 圣地兄弟会
Al-qaeda, north korea, republicans, shriners,
balding men that work out,
people on the internet that are only turned on by cartoons of japanese teenagers
anything is better than working for you,
you pompous, negligent,
It's gonna burst! Go! Go, go, go!
My foot is stuck.
It's okay! It's okay. Just go.
Tell my family I love them.
They may be hard to find'cause my wife kept her last name
and she made the kids take it, too,
So, I-I don't know, you can
Let me ask you a question, Ethan.
Where's the anger coming from, man?
From Summer being a total bitch!
Where's the anger coming from?
我哥哥 有一次带我去钓鱼 然后在树丛里
My brother... took me fishing once... in the bushes...
I can't... I can't...
He made me feel like a girl!
I...he made me a girl!
He didn't make you anything, man.
You are who you are.
She is who she is.
Now, you go to her... brand-new.
Come here, right now.
天啊 我很抱歉 Ethan
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry, Ethan!
I love you!
I love you so much.
You did it again, cubbie.
No! Stop! I hate this!
Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son.
Well, then I hate Christmas!
Enjoy being human! You guys are gross and lame.
My name's Reuben Ridley.
You're inside me right now, but
By the end of this journey...
I'll be inside all of you.
My story begins during the dot-com crash in the early '90s.
You can put your fingers wherever you want.
Morty, you want to put it on mute or something?
I'm I'm trying to concentrate.
Not now, Jerry.
I've got much, much smaller fish to fry.
I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you.
Right now, you're my sanest relative.
Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite.
Morty, can you get to the left nipple?
你开玩笑吗 我还想两边都玩呢 Rick
Are you kidding? I'm hoping I can get to both of 'em, Rick.
不 Morty 我说的是Reuben的左乳头
No, Morty, I'm talking about Reuben's left nipple.
We need to get to the left nipple!
The body is decaying.
The arterial transit system is useless.
We can try the service shuttle.
It's connected to the skeletal system.
That's why we call it the bone train.
Would you like to ride the bone train, miss?
If it'll get us out of here.
How about you, Morty?
Would you like to ride the bone train?
Why are you doing this bit?
We're gonna die! Let's go!
Well... I can see you're busy.
Merry christmas, Rick.
There's no autopilot.
One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually.
No, you're you're right.
I-it was a dick move for me to even pause like that.
This is all my fault.
You go on.
What the hell is that?
E. Coli outbreak.
Wait, there is an autopilot.
It's okay! Never mind!
I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway!
They're they're chewing through the doors!
我们到乳晕了 Rick 马上就到乳头
We're in the areola, Rick, almost to the nipple,
But we're also in a really bad situation!
I'm almost there, Morty!
Reports from all over the country have been coming in
About what appears to be a giant, naked man over the continental united states.
我们现在联线纽约的Tom Randolph Tom你好
We now go to Tom Randolph in New York.Tom?
Well, the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry,
but I'm standing under a nose like a 70-mile cherry.
出自诗歌《A Visit from St. Nicholas》
"他的眼睛闪闪发光 他的酒窝充满欢乐 他的面颊如玫瑰 他的鼻子像樱桃"
Thank you, Tom.
Let's go now to Eric McMahan in Los Angeles.
We've got feet here on the west coast, Bill,
giant feet, even relative to the giant man's size
, and you know what they say about that.
Well, if the old adage is true,
one can only wonder what's going down in the rocky mountains.
Oh my god, the track!
It's hepatitis A!
The nipple hole.
哇 - 是丙肝病毒
Whoa! - It's hepatitis C!
Um... wait, did we have some sort of relationship with him?
I think they're just like that?
I think they're just good guys.
Where's dr. Bloom?
抱歉 Rick 他死了
I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead.
该死 Morty 我就要求你这么一件事
God damn it, Morty. I ask you to do one thing!
Jerry doesn't know what he's missing.
He'll come around, Beth.
Christmas is a special time.
It has funny ways of bringing families together.
I don't know, Jacob.
Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it.
I don't know if our marriage will...
It's raining blood!
Oh, shit. Find Jerry.
It's all right. The TV says there's nothing to worry about.
The giant, naked sky santa has exploded.
Blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country.
Everything should be fine.
Dad, can I have my phone back?
Sure, sweetie. Here.
Everybody, take a device.
It'll help you relax.
This is nice.
Look, I guess we really learned something this christmas, Jacob.
No, we didn't, dad.
No, we didn't.
Too bad about Dr. Bloom.
He was a genius, the only man capable of creating a new anatomy park.
Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work.
I-I-I-I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create an entirely new, much safer park.
What about... Pirates of the pancreas?
I think it was one of the most underrated attractions.
Boo-yah! Hold your breath.
Hey, w-w-what the hell, Rick?!
What the hell, man! I liked her!
I really had something going there, Rick!
Yeah, so I heard.
你躲过了一劫 Morty 相信我
You dodged a bullet, Morty, trust me.
W-what's wrong with that?
That doesn't sound like a problem to me.
I don't know.
走 去找点吃的 我要饿死了
Come on, let's get some stuffing. I'm starving.
We got we got a bunch of robot, computer people,
sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens.
Do you guys realize that Christ was born today?
耶稣基督 救世主 是在今天出生的
Jesus christ, our savior, was born today.
Are are are you people even human?
What kind of christmas is this?
Rick, can you hear me?
Loud and clear, Annie.
We're also on with Alejandro, our chief imaginarian.
显微市场部的Natalie Jacobs和Chris Deseter
Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter from microscopic marketing,
Zack from organ concepts, and Jamie from new media.
So, pirates of the pancreas.
Yeah. Talk to me.
嗨 Rick 我是Alejandro
Hey, Rick. It's Alejandro speaking.
Um, so, we asked ourselves, internally we asked ourselves over here,
"Okay, what does a pancreas do?"
And the answer was, "Does it make pirates?"
No, it makes insulin, you know?
So, we're starting with a new...
那些人在我体内 是吗 在建公园啥的
Those guys are inside me, huh? Like, building a park?
Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan!
They're inside you building a monument to compromise!
[哔]这群人 [哔]这整件事 Ehtan
Those people. This whole thing, Ethan.
And who pays me?
- 翻译: 大岛优子一生推 Gaby
- 校对: 史努比史酷比
- 后期: 小萌
- 压制: 凯撒
T-t-t-this is just sloppy craftsmanship.
看呀 今天天可真好呀 是吧
Boy, sure is really especially beautiful out there today, huh?
oh, yes, Morty.
I-it's almost unbelievable, Isn't it?
Yeah, you know?
There's something about the air
And just the way the sunshine is.
没错 伙计 没错
uh, sure, buddy. Yeah.
哇 还能实时应答啊 真棒
Oh. Responsive, too. In real time. I love it.
I'm going to work.
Morty, good morning.
Dad, good morning.
I am going to work. Goodbye.
what's with mom?
oh, what's with mom?
So, you're saying that she's acting weird?
How sophisticated. Careful, guys.
You're gonna burn out the cpu with this one.
Okay, you know what, Rick?
You'reacting weird, too.
whatever, quote-unquote "Morty."
all right, well...
I'll see you after school.
Ow! Oof! Ugh!
I'm all right. I'm okay.
All right, who can tell me what 5 x 9 is?
What is 5 x 9?
umm...you know, it's
Uhh...at least 40.
Morty, that's exactly correct!
5 x 9 is at least 40!
Come up here.
Whoo! Way to go, Morty!
Everybody, this is the best student.
I want you to be the teacher today.
Teach us, Morty!
W-w-w-what do you want me to teach you?
How do you make concentrated dark matter?
Oh, that's a good question.
Concentrated dark matter
The fuel for accelerated space travel.
Now, do you know how to make it?
Come on, Morty.
Isn't your grandpa, like, a Scientist?
没错 但是 他和我说
oh, yeah, but, you know, he told me that
I shouldn't go around spouting off about,
you know, his science and stuff.
I bet you've seen him make concentrated dark matter a lot.
You know, if you tell us,
I'll be your girlfriend.
Uh, y-you will?
Seems like a rare opportunity, Morty.
Morty, u-uh, come on.
There's a family emergency.
Stop right there!
If he leaves, I'm giving him an "F."
he doesn't care.
Rick, I have to go back!
I think I was about to get married!
take a shower with me, Morty.
listen to me, Morty.
Get your clothes off and get in the shower right now.
Y-y-y-you got to trust me, Morty.
I'm gonna get an "F" In class, Rick.
Morty, that's not class.
T-t-t-that wasn't your teacher.
This isn't your school.
This entire world is not the world.
We're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship.
wait a minute.
W-what are you talking about?
it's all fake
Morty, all of it.
纳米级机器渲染 搞出来的假玩意儿 Morty
Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, Morty.
I couldn't say so until we got in the shower.
They won't monitor us in here.
Monitor us?! W-who?!
Zigerion scammers, Morty
The galaxy's most ambitious, least successful con artists.
You know, it's lucky for us
They're also really uncomfortable with nudity.
Aw, come on, Rick.
If everyone's just gonna be insane today,
at least let me be insane with jessica.
I can't let you do that, Morty.
Give it to me!
You give it to me!
G-g-give it! No, Rick!
Oh, god, sir!
They're still naked!
Well, check every five quintons
And tell me when they're not.
I think we should make kevin look, sir.
W-w-why would you even say that?
Uh, sir, we have a situation over here.
要是监视器里有鸡鸡的话 那必须是有情况 Stu
If there's a wiener on that monitor, i swear to god, Stu...
Something is drawing a lot of processing power.
Oh, wait. No wonder.
There's another real human in the simulator.
好了 Jerry 重大推销会
Okay, Jerry big pitch meeting.
You can do this.
How did this happen?!
Where's the abductions department?
Hey, man, abductions just follows the acquisition order.
Don't put this on acquisitions!
We only acquire humans that haven't been simulated!
Well, simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been abducted, so...
Oh, I see! Oh, oh!
It was no one's fault.
Well, then, problem solved.
Oh, wait no.
There's still another human in here!
Who is he?
So far, he hasn't noticed he's in a simulation.
Well, cap his sector at 5% processing,
keep his settings on auto,
and we'll deal with him later.
Rick Sanchez is the target.
Got to relax.
It's just a pitch.
Got to relax.
This is earth radio.
And now, here's...human music.
hmm. Human music. I like it.
uhp, uhp, uhp!
Morty, keep your hands off your Ding-dong!
It's the only way we can speak freely.
Look around you, Morty.
Do you really think this world is real?
You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details.
Look that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs.
I don't know, Rick.
I mean, I've seen people do that before.
well, look at that old lady.
She's she's walking a cat on a leash.
uh, Mrs. Spencer does that all the time, Rick.
look, I-I-I don't want To hear about mrs. Spencer, Morty!
She's an idiot!
All right, all right, there.
W-what about that, Morty?
Okay, okay, you got me on that one.
oh, really, Morty?
Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere in real life before?
I haven't seen that.
I mean, why would a pop tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick?
I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live.
You know what I mean?
you're missing the Point, Morty.
Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels?
I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house?
So, why are they doing this?
W-what do they want?
well, that would be obvious to you, Morty,
If you'd been paying attention.
We got the president of the United States in here!
We need 10cc of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die!
Concentrated dark matter?
They were asking about that in class.
没错 那是 我发明的一种特殊燃料
yeah, it's a special fuel I invented
to travel through space faster than anybody else.
These Zigerions are always trying
to scam me out of my secrets,
但这次 他们犯了个大错 Morty
But they made a big mistake this time, Morty.
They dragged you into this.
Now they're gonna pay!
what do you w-w-what are we gonna do?
we'll scam the scammers, Morty.
And we're gonna take them for everything they've got.
National apple farmers of America,
welcome to our ad agency.
I'm Jerry Smith.
I'll just...get to the pitch.
Um, simple question, gentlemen,
what are apples?
What are apples?
Apples are food.
And...when do we need food?
When we're hungry.
With that, I give you your new slogan!
Well, say something!
Do you like it?
so...I sold it?
I sold the idea?
oh, my god! Thank you!
谢谢 - 不用谢
Thank you. - You're welcome.
I just sold my first pitch!
Guess who just sold the apples campaign.
who just sold the Apples campaign?
I guess it wasn't a rip-off of "Got milk?" after all.
Guess someone was wrong.
well, all is forgiven, because right now,
I've got an erection the size of an east coast lighthouse,
And I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.
See you in 10 minutes!
I'm going to make love to my wife!
aw, geez, Rick.
I-I don't know if I like this plan, you know?
I mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have a tendency to make me really nervous.
It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there.
You're gonna be fine.
Just follow my lead.
哟 DJ 节奏打起来
Yo, deejay, drop that beat.
This crowd looks too small
for one of our famous rap concerts.
I don't think we can perform our new song,
"The recipe for Concentrated dark matter,"
for a crowd this tiny.
you got that right, Rick.
now that's more like it!
Morty, here we go.
Let me hear everybody say "Hey-oh!" Yeah!
All the ladies say, "Yeah!"
Everybody over 30, do this with your hands!
Everybody with a red shirt,
jump up and down!
mm. Mm. Mm.
Yeah, don't move.
嗯 嗯 唔嗯
Mm, mm, mm, mm!
name begins with an "L" who isn't hispanic,
walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times 10!
Before the system reboots!
yeah! You like that?
Now who's unremarkable?
You hungry for apples?
你 想要 苹果吗
Are you hungry...for...apples?!
Oh, my god.
That's the best sex I've ever had in my life.
I don't deserve this, Beth.
I'm a fraud.
oh, man, Rick!
W-w-w-where we running to?
Out of the simulation, Morty.
Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill,
with the virtual world disappearing
behind us and being rendered in front of us as we move through it,
but while it's frozen, Morty,
we can get to The edge.
Here we go.
come on, Morty.
Sir, they're over the edge.
Yes, they are.
正如 计划 所料
Oh, this is going to be such a mind [beep].
keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, Morty.
That's how we're gonna scam these idiots.
嘿 Rick 如果你比这群外星人聪明那么多
so, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you,
Rick, if you're so much smarter than them?
it's an obsession for them at this point.
The zigerions have been
trying to outsmart me for years, Morty.
Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them.
Here we go.
Grab as many processors as you Can carry, Morty.
These guys aren't good at much,
But they're reallygood at making these chips.
I've got so many, I can barely hold them all.
Look at-look at this.
Oops. I dropped one.
don't worry about it, Morty.
There's plenty of them, you little goofball.
过来 Morty 噢 抓到你啦
Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha!
行啦 别闹啦 Rick
come on, quit it, Rick!
nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every now and then, little fella.
哇哦 真没想到 居然这么容易
wow. What do you know? Huh. That was easy.
totes malotes, dawg.
just kind of hard to believe, you know?
believe it, Morty.
And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry,
and the Zigerions got nothing of mine.
Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a Minute to talk?
look, I'm a fraud.
I mean, let's face it
"Hungry for apples" Is just a rip-off of "Got milk?"
It's almost identical.
I deserve that.
Umm...I guess...i'll just pack up my desk.
oh, my god.
Wait. You know what?! No!
The milk people don't have a patent on simple rhetorical questions!
There's not even a single word in "Hungry for apples" That's Shared by "Got milk?"
It's a completely different slogan.
And I shouldn't be fired.
I should be promoted!
I mean, I'm it may be derivative,
but it's the most successful
campaign to come out of the agency in a long time.
i-I'm not saying it should win an award for commercials,
but it could certainly be nominated for an award for commercials specifically about apples,
Like...an appley or something.
is there really an award called the appley for apple-related ad campaigns?
could we nominate me?
get in, Morty.
I'm gonna be able to use these processors
to make some real important science stuff.
Huh. I thought I entered the code right.
Wha well, what's this?
W-what could this possibly be?
Because it looks like you're inside a simulation...
Inside a simulation.
You're still on the ship.
Game-day bucket go boom.
Sir, the, uh,
doctor's appointment to examine
the discoloration on your butthole flaps was
Too loud, Cynthia.
Too loud and too specific.
We've known how to make
concentrated dark matter for a long time.
不过现在嘛 我们 还知道了
But now we also know
你传说中的保险箱密码 Rick Sanchez
the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!
All your most valuable secrets
will now be ours!
uh, yeah, until I get home before you
and change the combination,
you bunch of Idiots!
That is why you're never getting home.
oh, my god!
I got to tell you, this morning,
I didn't even know this award existed.
Now I'm holding one.
Look, I want to say that today
was the best day of my life...
But...the truth is, it's it's more meaningful than that.
yes. Thank you, sir.
我的人生 终于 完整了
好 好 好 好样的
My my my my man!
What the hell?!
Jerry - 爸
Jerry?! - Dad!
what are you doing Here?
W-why are you dressed like a Waiter?
算了 没时间了 快跑
Screw it. We don't have time. Come on.
man up, Jerry!
I may need you to work the lasers.
天啊 他们马上就要追上来了 Rick
Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick!
I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter.
你也知道怎么制造的 对吧 Rick
well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick?
yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, check the engine room.
We just need cesium, plutonic quarks,
and bottled water.
it's all here, Rick!
哇 Morty 运气太好了
wow, Morty. Lucky break.
Grab that bucket.
Okay, two parts plutonic quarks,
One part cesium.
Now empty the water bottle into the bucket
and pour it all into the fuel tank
so we can get the hell out of here!
What are you doing, Morty?!
There's no time!
Oh, my god, Rick.
How dumb are you?
You're inside a simulation... of a simulation...
Inside another giant simulation!
W-we never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter.
But we do now!
We do now, sucka!
You simulated my grandson's genitalia?!
Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!
Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project.
You said you weren't gonna tell anyone!
I'm never gonna live this down, am I?
all right. Okay.
好吧 你厉害 你狠
All right, great. Wonderful.
You win. Can we go home now?
I don't know. Can you?
Show this gullible turd to his shuttle.
I'm done with him.
噢 等下 拍张照
Oh, wait. Let me get a picture.
Aww. Look at his face.
He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still.
Are you, Rick?
Or are you?
噢 还 还有
Oh, a-and, by the way,
I don't have discolored butthole flaps.
That was part of the simulation.
呃 长官 那我是不是要取消预约
Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then?
Yeah! Of course you should!
No, keep it.
Move it up, actually, if you can.
嘿 Jerry 别担心嘛
Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it.
So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a simulation operating at minimum capacity?
是吗 Rick 这些人也把你耍了
you know what, Rick? Those guys took you for a ride, too.
You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe,
now that you're one of us.
maybe you're right, Jerry.
Maybe you're right.
All right, everybody.
Two parts plutonic quarks...
One part cesium...
A-and listen, I'm sorry for yelling earlier.
I-I couldn't ask for a better Staff.
I love you guys, and I love all your families.
And the final ingredient...
What the hell?!
W-what happened back there?
why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry?
Oh, yeah. You can't.
They blew up.
Gerry Rafferty《Baker Street》
What do you think?
But t-this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation.
Well, then, it was a terrible Simulation.
Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife?
hey, little buddy.
H-h-how you doing in here right Now?
aw, geez, Rick.
What are you doing, man?
y-y-you're a good kid, Morty.
Y-you're a real l-little c-character, Morty.
you know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty.
You're my little friend, aren't You?
我们一起玩得很开心 是吧 Morty
We had some good times together, Huh, M-Morty?
We... You're a real true hero out in the field.
You're a li
你是顶梁柱啊 对吧 Morty
You're a real trouper, huh, M-m-Morty?
have you been Drinking, Rick?
T really appreciate You, Morty.
A-all right, Rick
you little son of a bitch!
Y-y are you a simulation?!
Huh?! Are you a simulation?!
no! No! No!
you little son of a Bitch!
i-I-I'm sorry, Morty.
你是个好 你是个好孩子 Morty
Y-you're a good.. You're a good kid, Morty.
y-you're a good... you're a good kid.
oh, my god!
w-w-what the hell?
What a life.
- 翻译: 为爱人爆肝的Kimuu
- 校对: 被爱人感动的阿朽
- 后期: 逼爱人卖肾的小萌
- 压制: 凯撒
Morty, do it!
Hit the button now!
I can't do it, Rick!
They're my parents and sister!
Morty 我已经和你说过了 这不是你家人
Morty, I already told you it's not your family!
They're clones from an alternate reality,
possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future!
Do you need a mnemonic device or something?
Just hit the button, already!
不要 Morty 我爱你 亲爱的
Morty, please, I love you, sweetheart.
Good work, Morty.
You know, th-th-these demonic alien spirits are really valuable.
You okay, Morty?
I told you not to trust that tuna.
I just killed my family!
I don't care what they were.
I don't know, Morty.
Some people'd pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.
You know what, Rick? That's it!
I'm done with these insane adventures!
That was really traumatizing!
I quit! I'm out!
哇 哇 哇
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
别啊 Morty 别别别这样
Come on, Morty, don't don't don't be like that.
The universe is a crazy, chaotic place.
You're the one that's crazy and chaotic!
Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun.
是啊 Morty 是啊
Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah.
Yeah, that that that's real easy to say from the sidekick position.
But but, uh, how about next time you be in charge,
and then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is?
Y-y-you'll you'll let me call the shots?
Okay, yeah, fine.
But let's make it interesting, Morty.
I-I-I-if your adventure sucks and we bail halfway through it,
you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures.
Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month.
Okay, all right, tough guy!
But if my adventure's good,
I get to be in charge of every third adventure!
Deal. All right.
W-well, come on, let's get going.
Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again.
它不洗啊 你能修好它么 - Rick外公
No. The opposite. Can you fix it? - Grandpa Rick,
Can you help me with my science homework?
Yeah j-just don't do it.
Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device
that can open this mayonnaise jar?
Wow. Hat trick.
好吧 Morty 冒险的事情先暂且放一下吧
All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this.
I got to help your pathetic family.
Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say.
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
呵呵 Morty 你真是欺人太甚了 赌约正式开始
Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on.
I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart.
As for you dingdongs...
This is a Meeseeks Box.
Let me show you how it works. You press this.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
You make a request.
Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar.
The Meeseeks fulfills the request.
And then it stops existing.
Oh, my god, he exploded!
Trust me, they're fine with it.
Knock yourselves out, just keep your requests simple.
They're not gods.
行 好了 快点出去吧 大家快滚出去
All right! G-get out of here now! Everybody out of here!
I got a bet to win!
So many possibilities.
My mind is racing.
If we're gonna use this thing,
which I'm not even sure we should, we need to keep it simp...
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
I want to be popular at school!
Summer, what did I just...
Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
I-I-I want I want to be a more complete woman!
嗯 行啊 女士
Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!
You guys are doing it wrong.
He said "simple."
Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take two strokes off my golf game.
Ooh, yeah! Can do!
天哪 Morty 这冒险开始得好无聊啊
God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure.
I don't w-w-w-why didn't we just go to Kentucky?
Rick 这是一个奇幻世界 里面充满了神奇的生物和奇幻的东西
Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things.
我们是来探险的 - 好期待啊
W-we're going on a quest, okay? - Can't wait.
Ahem. Excuse me!
We are two humble heroes in search of adventure!
Oh, my god, so embarrassing.
你们总算来了 两位英雄 你们得帮帮我们
At last! Two heroes! You must help us!
This village is terribly poor,
yet the giant that lives in the clouds above
has untold treasures!
You know what?
I-I-I accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir.
走吧 Rick 云端上住着巨人呢
Come on, Rick. There's a giant in the clouds!
Yeah. Beginner's luck.
总而言之 与Summer Smith的友谊是可贵的
In conclusion, a friendship with Summer Smith is the most valuable
and enriching experience of your young lives.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it?
Yeah. Gene Vagina.
Listen, I'm in a bit of custody thing with my ex and was wondering...
No, I'll g-get your info from Summer.
I got pregnant at 17.
I mean, I still put myself through veterinary school.
Yes, I'm successful, but what if I hadn't...
I'm just saying, somewhere along the way,
I lost that wide-eyed girl from Muskegon.
She's still there, Beth.
Well, her waistline isn't.
Beth, having a family
doesn't mean that you stop being an individual.
You know the best thing you can do for people that depend on you?
Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.
You're saying I should leave Jerry.
I can't believe I'm finally having this conversation.
I think I've had enough.
肩放松 自然往后收 Jerry
Remember to square your shoulders, Jerry.
是啊 是啊 我知道了
Yeah, yeah. I got it.
没事的啦 看过来 我是使命必达先生
That's okay. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
Try again and keep your head down.
Okay, well, which is it?
Square my shoulders or keep my head down?
两个都要 但是最重要的是 你得放轻松
Well, it's both. But most importantly, you got to relax.
You know what, Mr. Meeseeks?
I don't think this is working. I give up.
对不起 Jerry 你不能放弃
I'm sorry, Jerry, but it doesn't work like that.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away. Look at me.
Well, make yourself comfortable, because I suck.
No, Jerry, I'm the one who sucks!
Let me try something.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
嗨 使命必达先生 我是使命必达先生 看过来 - 嗨
Hi, Mr. Meeseeks! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. - Hi!
Can you help me get two strokes off of Jerry's golf swing?
Can do! I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
Is he keeping his shoulders squared?
Ooh, he's trying!
All right, Morty.
W-w-we're in your stupid giant's castle.
W-what do we do next?
Would you just relax, Rick?
All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay?
It's nice and simple.
You know, I-I-I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously.
Startin' to get a little hairy.
What do you want to do, boss?
Come on, hurry. Behind this cookie jar.
Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
放弃吧 Morty 游戏到此为止
Just give up, Morty. This is game over.
I'll take us home right now. You just say the word.
没戏 Rick 这都是冒险的一部分
No way, Rick. This is all part of it.
Adventures have conflict. Deal with it.
I smell the blood of...(an English man)
我操 - 天哪
Holy crap. - Oh, boy.
He looks pretty bad down there, Morty.
Looks like he's bleeding out.
Oh, Jesus! Dale!
你们这群混蛋 - 不好
You sons of bitches! - Oh, man.
My husband has been attacked by tiny people!
Hey, look, we get it.
你们很小 最近又不太景气 然后你们就想
You're little, you're down on your luck, you think,
"Hey, he's a giant.
不妨我们潜入他家 先抢劫再杀人灭口 多好啊"
Why don't we break into his home, rob him, and murder him?"
But that's not how it went down!
Oh, well, it's going down like that.
You're both going down like that.
哇 Morty 你真是让我见识到了怎么冒险啊
Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really showing me how it's done.
Real straightforward and fun.
Like, letting go of the need to be popular
is what makes people like you.
The most important love you can receive is from yourself.
Jerry 虎口下握 靠近击球点
Okay, Jerry, you got to just choke up on the club!
Well, which is it, choke up or follow-through?!
Jerry 拜托 我们说了好几次了
Aww, come on, Jerry, we've been over this.
You know you got to do both!
This is as frustrating for us as it is for you.
Don't tell me that! That just puts pressure on me!
试着放松啦 - 你才该放松
Just try to relax. - You try to relax!
Have you ever tried to relax?! It is a paradox!
These Meeseeks, huh? Kind of a handful.
I can't imagine what you two must be going through.
Our Meeseeks have been gone for hours, Jerry.
You're kidding me.
Notice anything different?
I-I-I'm sorry. Hours?
Dad, mom is a beautiful woman!
Look at her! You will lose her!
Hey, Jerry, you mind if we get back to the task at hand?
Meeseeks don't usually have to exist this long.
It's getting weird.
Order in the court!
Before the jury reaches its verdict,
I just want to say that I consider you both very guilty.
Oh, great adventure, Buddy.
Rick and Morty go to giant prison.
You know, if somebody drops the soap,
砸我们头上 我们的脊柱就直接被砸碎了 Morty
it's gonna land on our heads and crush our spines, Morty.
You know, i-i-i-it'll be really easy to rape us after that.
We're gonna be okay, Rick.
How? They took my portal gun.
This is an open-and-shut case, Morty.
You know, w-w-w-what do you think's gonna happen,
some magical angel's gonna show up and then...
Fee Fi Fo Fum
Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
I smell the violation of civil liberties!
Your honor, I'm from a tiny-persons advocacy group
and I have here in my hand a motion to dismiss.
These little men were never read their giant rights
所以应当被 fi释 fo放
and are therefore free-fi to fo-home.
W-what the hell is he talking about?
They're free to go, is what I meant.
I-I-I'm deconstructing our our thing we say.
我们不是巨人嘛 居然没人懂 算了随便吧
We're giants. Nobody got that? Whatever.
我就和你说嘛 Rick 我们做到了
Oh, man, what did I tell you, Rick? We did it!
All right, Morty, looks Like the portal gun's still working.
You ready to head home?
是啊 这样你就逞心如意了不是嘛 Rick
Oh, yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Rick?
Well, you know what? We're not bailing out just yet.
You know, we're gonna go find some treasure or something
and we're gonna bring it to those villagers.
Morty 别逞强了 这明显是徒劳无功
Morty, cut your losses. This is obviously a wash.
Yeah, you were saying that back w-w-w-when we first got arrested,
but here we are, you know, walking down the Courthouse steps.
Oh, boy, Morty.
Usually, walking down the Courthouse steps is the easy part of the adventure.
What do you say, Morty?
我说 帮把手 跟班
I say give me a hand, Sidekick.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
Everybody shut up! Let me try!
可恶 可恶 可恶
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
我要出门了 - 哦 什么?
I'm going out. - Wait. What?
你在忙 而我肚子饿了 所以想出去吃个饭
Well, you're busy. I'm hungry. I thought I'd go out.
Do you want me to be happy or do you want me to be in prison?
哇 哇 哇 你这脾气是... 我陪你去吃晚饭吧
Whoa, whoa, where in the hell is... I'll take you to dinner.
嘿 听着 我也不愿意这么废柴
Hey, you know what? It's hard being me, too.
I'll be right there.
Look, I've got a marriage to keep together.
这个挥杆的问题 更该操心的是你们 不是我
At this point, my golf swing is more your problem than mine.
I can't take it anymore. I just want to die!
We all want to die! We're Meeseeks!
Why did you even rope me into this?
'Cause he roped me into this!
Well, him over there, he roped me into this!
Well, he roped me into this!
Well, what about me? He roped me into this.
Well, that one over there roped me into this.
Well, he roped me into this.
Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story everybody loves.
Scaling down 650,000 oversized steps.
All right, okay, y-you know, if this was a story,
this part wouldn't be included, Stupid.
Rick 没想到吧 快看下面
Hey, Rick, what do you know? Look down there.
Looks like some kind of tavern something built right into the side of the step.
哇 Rick 这才像是一场冒险嘛
Oh, wow, Rick. Now, this is more like it.
Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here.
A-all kinds of crazy characters.
This place is great, you know?
It's whimsical and fun.
妈的 你看什么看 - Rick 淡定
What are you looking at, mother f**ker. - Easy, Rick.
Pay them no mind. Those stair goblins can be moody.
Now, what can I getcha?
We've got skarlog poppies,
放轰 哈鸡嗝丝 不撸基斯 多汁时间宝
flurlow, halzingers, bloogies, juicy time babies...
Yeah yeah yeah. How about some scotch whiskey?
You got any of that around here? Or just a bunch of nonsense words?
Rick. We'll have two bloogies, please.
And, uh, we were wondering,
is there a faster way two heroes could get down these stairs?
Y'all need to ride down the stairs?
My name is Slippely-Slippery Stair.
I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels.
25 shmeckels? I don't know how much I don't know what that is.
Is that a lot? Is it a little?
That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies.
嗨 我是买胸达人先生 我愿意出25傻屌买这对胸部
Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer. I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels.
It's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline.
Rats! What a shame.
Morty, your adventure's in a spiral.
For real, man, time to pull out.
You keep heckling my adventure, Rick! You know why?
Uh, because it's lame?
It's because you're petty!
You know, h-how many times have I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap?
I always roll with the punches, Rick.
Why can't you?
听着 我要去上个厕所 等我回来的时候
Look, I got to take a leak, and when I come back,
if you haven't learned how to lighten up, don't be here!
It's become clear, look at me,
that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's follow-through,
we will solve this problem. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me.
The only thing that's clear is that choking up is the one true solution.
Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
I've been trying to help Jerry for two days,
an eternity in Meeseeks time,
and nothing's worked.
I fear the worst.
Your failures are your own, old man.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 我说后续打姿
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. I say follow-through!
谁支持我? - 后续打姿
Who's with me?! - Follow-through.
I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
杀了他 - 妈的
Kill him! - Son of a bitch.
How are you today? I'm Mr. Jelly Bean.
嗨 软豆先生 我是Morty
Hi, Mr. Jelly Bean. I'm Morty.
My grandpa and I are on an adventure.
Nice. Is it a fun adventure?
I hope so.
But I'm starting to get nervous that maybe it's gone a little too far off the rails.
Isn't that what adventures do?
Hey, you know what? You're right.
Everything's going fine.
I just got to relax and go with the flow.
啊 那个 拜拜 - 不 别走啊
Okay. Uh. Bye. - Uhh, no, stay.
Go with the flow.
Stop. You're making me really uncomfortable.
Stop fighting me. Just let this happen.
Get off of me!
Sweet home Alabama
不要啊 住手 求求你
No! Stop! Please!
Stop being such a ** tease, you sweet little **.
Look at me!
My brothers, nothing will be accomplished by shedding Meeseeks blood.
None of us can die until our job is done.
The job can't be done!
We'll never get two strokes off his game!
No, we won't.
But we will get all strokes off his game.
他想到哪里去了 - 他什么意思
Where's he going with this? - What's he mean?
When we kill him.
Jerry 或许是时候 我去参加那个我一直向往的旅行了
Jerry, maybe it's time I take that trip I always talk about.
Where would you go?
不是道 意大利 希腊 阿根廷
I don't know, man. Italy. Greece. Argentina.
Countries known for their sexually aggressive men.
Did I tell you how much I love your new haircut?
What the heck?
There he is!
Come on out, Jerry!
我会好好握杆的 我会做好后续打姿的 你们说什么我就做什么
Guys, I'll choke up. I'll follow through. I'll do whatever you tell me to do, okay?
Oh, we're well past that, Jerry.
快点 Rick 别拖时间了 你手里啥牌
Come on, Rick, quit stalling. What do ya got?
Read 'em and weep, fellas!
Oh, hey, Morty.
听着 之前说了很多关冒险的坏话 我很抱歉
Listen, I'm really sorry about all that stuff I said earlier about your adventure.
I'm havin' a good time, Morty.
It's not so bad.
Let's just go home, Okay?
I'm calling it.
The adventure's over.
We can't leave now, Morty.
I'm on fire!
Look, I want to leave now.
You win the bet, okay?
Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please.
Please, I just want to go home.
Listen, Morty. I just won a bunch of shmeckels.
Why don't we use 25 of them to pay Slippery Stair here for a ride back to the village,
and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?
Sure, Morty. Yeah.
You know, a good adventure needs a good ending.
Meeseeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry!
We are created to serve a singular purpose
for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill!
Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry.
And we will do anything to alleviate that pain. Just ask...
What's your name, ma'am?
Samantha 求求你 先生 他要什么就给他吧
S-samantha. Please, Mister! Give him what he wants!
Innocent people are going to die because of me.
Why am I so mediocre?
Jerry 转身 挺背
Jerry, turn around. Straighten your back.
Bend your knees. Bend them.
Square your shoulders. Take a deep breath.
I love you.
I'm counting to three, Jerry.
What the f**k is going on?
He's got it!
Th-th-that's a lower handicap stro-o-ke!
Excuse me. I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks.
What about your short game?
天哪 天哪 我的天哪
Oh, my god, oh, my god!
What about your short game?!
I think we'll take our food to go.
No, you won't.
The police are coming. You have so many questions to answer.
谢谢你 好心的先生 我们的村子有救了
Thank you, kind sir. Our village is saved!
You are both true heroes!
好样的 Morty 看来赌约是你赢了
Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet.
谢啦 Rick 但我也不知道其实该不该赢呢
Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should.
You know, you were right about the universe.
It's a crazy and chaotic place.
Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know.
This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style.
Oh! Heroes, we would like to introduce you to our beloved King
so that he may thank you personally.
Uh, no, i-it's cool.
Rick 传送门 快
Rick. Portal. Hurry.
So... You still thinking about taking that trip?
We don't have a perfect marriage, but I'm not going anywhere.
When we were in that freezer,
I realized the Meeseeks are like the guys I went to high school with.
Willing to say anything to "complete their task."
Was I one of those guys?
The difference is you didn't disappear afterwards.
Well... I got you pregnant.
What the hell happened to this place?
Uh, your Meeseeks box happened.
They went crazy when they couldn't take two strokes off Jerry's golf game.
He felt terrible.
Hey, it's not my fault that Jerry's an idiot.
Dad! Is there anything you can do to clean this place up?
Well, you know, I do have a Fleeseeks box.
No. No more boxes.
What? It just has a mop and some floor wax in it.
Wubba lubba dub dubs
Wubba lubba dub dubs!
Yeah! That's my new thing!
I'm kind of like what's his name Ar-arsenio.
Arsenio Hall 美国喜剧演员
Isn't that it's what Arsenio used to say on his show.
Wobble gobba lop bops对吧
Wobble gobba lop bops! Right?
See you next week, everybody.
I don't get it.
Sir, I think you're going to want to see this.
We found it inside a lockbox inside King Jelly Bean's closet.
We have to tell the people.
Wait. Destroy it.
Our people will get more from the idea he represented
than from the Jelly Bean he actually was.
- 翻译: 阿朽
- 校对: 阿朽
- 后期: 小萌
- 压制: 凯撒
Principal Vagina here don't let the name fool you.
I'm very much in charge reminding you
that tonight is our annual flu season dance.
I don't know how many times I have to say this,
but if you have the flu, stay home.
The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration.
you don't bring dead babies to passover.
okay. Here we go.
H-hey, Jessica. Uh...
What's up, Morty?
what are you doing?
Wait, wait. Were you about to talk... to her?
well... I mean, I was thinking about it.
Dude, stay in your league.
Look at how hot she is.
You don't see me going to a bigger school in a wealthier district
and hitting on their prettiest girl.
噢 谢谢 Brad
Gee, thanks, Brad.
I throw balls far.
You want good words? Date a languager.
try not to worry about it, Morty.
You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now,
but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape.
You're missing the point, dad.
I don't want girls. I want Jessica.
ah, well, I remember feeling that way about
a young lady named "Your mom,"
And that's not an urban diss.
Your mom was my Jessica.
I remember the first time I saw her. I thought
"I should get her pregnant, and then she'll have to marry me."
I beg your pardon, Rick inappropriate.
Sorry, please proceed with your story
about banging my daughter in high school.
I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty.
His marriage is hanging from a thread.
My marriage is fine, thank you.
Jerry, it's your house
whatever you say it is is how it is
but I think a blind man could see that
Beth is looking for the door.
I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed.
Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that.
听着 Morty 我也不想这么直白地告诉你
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you,
but what people call "Love"
Is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.
It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades,
leaving you stranded in a failing marriage.
I did it.
Your parents are gonna do it.
Break the cycle, Morty.
Rise above. Focus on science.
All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance.
Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom.
Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh?
I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty.
It's gonna be great.
Hey, listen, Rick.
Y-y-you know how you said that,
you know, love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier?
Well, I was thinking, you know,
w-w could you make some sort of chemical thing
happen inside of Jessica's mind, you know,
so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing?
You know, like, maybe make some sort of love potion or something?
Morty, that's such a poor use of my time.
It's beneath me.
Hand me the screwdriver.
you know what? No, Rick!
I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver.
I-I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick!
I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing.
W-w-w-w-w-what about me, Rick?
W-w-w-w-why can't you just help me out once once, for once?
You're growing up fast, Morty.
You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass.
listen, this is called oxytocin.
I extracted it from a vole.
Do you know what a vole is, Morty?
You know what a vole is?
It's a it's a rodent that mates for life, Morty.
This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, you know,
that makes it fall in love.
All right, Morty, I just got to combine it with some of your DNA.
oh, well, okay.
a hair, Morty.
I need one of your hairs.
This isn't "Game of thrones."
all right, Morty.
Whoever you smear this stuff on
will fall in love with you, and only you, forever.
Are you happy now, Morty?
Thank you, grandpa Rick.
Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, or side effects, right?
w-w-w-what am I, a hack?
放心吧 Morty 绝对安全
Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof.
Eh, unless she has the flu.
Beth, do y-you still love me?
ugh, what kind of question is that?
the "Yes or no" kind?
Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes?
Are you gonna build them?
Then what good was the "Yes"?
等等 "爱我" 是房子还是流浪汉
wait, I-is loving me the house or the homeless people?
loving you is work, Jerry.
Hard work, like building a homeless shelter
nobody wants to say no to doing it
but some people put the work in.
So, what do you say?
Do you see me working here?
Does this conversation seem tedious to me?
Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I?
So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more.
Crap, they need me at the horse hospital.
Puh! This late?
The racetrack had a starlight derby.
There was a seven-horse collision,
and Davin's there alone.
you got to be aware
aware of all the flu
up in the air
I'm-a get me a shot
**and make the flu go away **
just rapping away
唷 唷 反流感饶舌歌手
yo, yo, flu-hating rapper
it's a flu-hating rap
hey, there, Jessica.
Whoa! Oh, whoopsie!
Oh, my god. Morty.
You look really nice tonight.
I love you, Morty!
I love you so much, it burns!
I-I love you too, Jessica!
Is this punk bothering you, Jessica?
Leave him alone, Jerk!
I'm in love with him!
He is more man than you will ever be!
This is about flu awareness
got to be aware of the flu in the air-ness
yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper
oh, man, Morty.
I'm really sorry.
oh, well, n-no problem, Brad.
你很特别 Morty 非常特别
There's something special about you, Morty, so special.
Whoa, take it easy!
Get your hands off of him!
Back off! I'm trying to be with my man!
That's enough, Bradley!
We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm.
Oh principal Vagina.
Never leave me, Morty.
I mean, o-of course not.
W-what do you think that was all about?
Who cares? Just hold me.
放开我 我爱你 Morty
Let me go! I love you, Morty!
let go of me!
she's gonna be alone with that guy all night.
yeah, dad, digging around the insides of horses.
It's not a very romantic setting.
well, Summer, there's always the possibility
that she made the whole work thing up.
Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides.
Grandpa, so gross!
You're talking about my mom.
Well, she's my daughter, Summer.
I outrank you.
Or family means nothing, in which case, don't play that card.
she's not responding to my texts!
Jealousy turns women off.
Well, isn't that convenient?
Not for the men they cheat on, no.
好吧 我要出去 买点冰激凌
okay, I'm... going to go out... for some ice cream.
And maybe stop by the hospital... to support my wife...
with my confidence.
天啊 外公 你真是个混蛋
God, grandpa, you're such a dick.
I'm sorry, Summer.
Your opinion means very little to me.
How come you're not at this
stupid dance everyone loves so much?
Screw that. I don't want to get sick.
It's flu season.
Please just let this work out.
来吧 Morty 来吧
Do it, Morty. Do it.
Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life!
Can we maybe go somewhere more private?
Jessica, get a hold of yourself!
you don't deserve to carry morty's genes.
I love Morty
and I hope Morty loves me
I'd like to wrap my arms around him
and feel him inside me
Morty, come on!
We got to get you out of here.
You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens
but I made a mistake.
Come on, Morty.
We got to get out of here. Come on.
Are you okay?
If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself.
I love you bad, mo-mo!
Morty, the principal and I have discussed it,
a-a-and we're both insecure enough
to agree to a three-way!
I didn't realize when I gave you that serum
that Jessica had the flu
you know, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have
been valuable information for me, Morty.
What the hell is going on, Rick?
What does it look like?
T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking on the virus.
It's gone airborne, Morty.
妈啦 怎么办啊 Rick
oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick?
没事的 Morty 放心
It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax.
I whipped up an antidote.
It's based on praying-mantis DNA.
You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Morty.
I mean, they they mate once,
and then they, you know, decapitate the partner.
I mean, it's a whole ritual.
It's really gruesome and totally opposite.
There's no love at all.
I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus.
It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty.
It'll all be over very shortly.
Uh, by the way, Morty,
I know you didn't ask or anything,
but I'm not interested in having sex with you.
These serums, they don't work on anybody related to you genetically.
Okay, well, sometimes,
Science is more art than science, Morty.
A lot of people don't get that.
Come on. Are you kidding me?
You're not Morty!
Bring us Morty!
Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man.
I had sex with Billy.
But you were already pregnant!
Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen?
We interrupt "Pregnant baby" with breaking news.
最新消息 Morty Smith仍然去向不明
This just in, Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown.
What the hell?
The only thing that is known is... how cute he is.
I love him so much, I want to make love to him
and then eat his head.
I love him more than you do, Harold!
You wish, you stupid bitch!
Where is Morty?
Oh, my god, Rick.
The whole world is infected!
Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread.
I've really outdone myself.
W-w a-are are you kidding me, Rick?
This is not okay!
Not only do they all want to have sex with me,
but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards!
Yeah, I don't know what i was thinking.
Mantises are they opposite of voles?
I mean, Obviously, DNA's a little more complicated than that.
You know what, though, Morty?
This right here's gonna do the the trick, baby.
树袋熊混合上 响尾蛇 黑猩猩 仙人掌
It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus,
鲨鱼 金毛犬 加上一点点恐龙
shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur.
Should add up to normal humanity.
I don't, that doesn't make any sense, Rick.
How does that add up to normal humanity?
怎么 Morty 你难道还想看我的运算过程吗
What, Morty, you want me to show you my math?
I'm sorry a-are you the scientist
or are you the kid that wanted to get laid?
Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses,
but I'm almost sorry we're finished.
Yes, it's satisfying work.
Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh it's more than the work.
I love being in that sterilized room,
sealed off from the world.
It's the only time I can really think... and feel.
Hmm, uh, what are you doing?
I'm playing African Dream Pop.
这首African Dream Pop是一首确实存在的remix作品 在Youtube上可以找到 其中许多素材来自Rick and Morty
What do youdo after a long night?
啊 呃 我得走了
Oh, ha, um, hey, I-b-I'd better get going.
Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff.
What is it, Davin?
Just once, I'd like to know
...w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath.
What does Morty's skin smell like?
How soft... how soft are his privates?
let go of me, Davin!
Take me to Morty.
You're not Morty.
I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend,
who is also a crowbar.
Well, look where being smart got you.
Jerry! Thank god!
God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth.
I'm the one beating them to death.
Thank you, Jerry.
往下看 Morty 欣赏一会儿
Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in,
because, you know, once I pull this lever, it's all back to normal.
Just do it already.
Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush.
I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done.
You know, we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit.
I mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy it is.
I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the next time
you're gonna see something like this?
I mean, soak it in, you know?
It's it's pretty neat.
It's pretty interesting.
够了 Rick 我要拉开关了
That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever.
W-what do we have here, Morty?
Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh?
I-I-I-I-I-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh?
I-I-I bet you feel like the world's smallest man
that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty.
不 Rick 有什么不对
Oh, Rick, something's not right.
你从来就没对过 - 不 不是
You're not right, ever. - No, no!
Look, you idiot!
Bet you're loving this, Morty.
This must be the best day of your life.
You get to be the mayor of I-told-you town.
I wish that shotgun was my penis.
If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway.
I don't get it, and I don't need to.
I don't know.
Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this?
It's not fair to assume that, Summer.
Oh, not fair?
Give me a break.
他就是个自私 不负责任的混蛋 他还离开了我母亲
He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, and he left my mother.
A real man stands by his woman.
Boy, Morty, I really cronenberged the world up, didn't I?
大卫 柯南伯格 加拿大籍导演 擅拍惊悚电影 其不少作品涉及人体变异 如《狂犬病》 《变蝇人》
We got a whole planet of cronenbergs walking around down there, Morty.
A-at least they're not in love with you anymore, though.
That's a huge step in the right direction.
Oh, my god! It's a living nightmare!
How could you be so irresponsible, Rick?
You, all I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver, Morty!
You're the one who wanted to be wanted me to buckle down
and make you up a... roofie-juice serum
so you could roofie that poor girl at your school.
I mean, g w-w-w-w-w w are you kidding me, Morty?
You're gonna try to take the high road on this one?
Y-y-y-y-you're a little creep, Morty.
Y-you're a you're you're you're just a little creepy... creep person.
All right, fine.
I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the serum.
I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick.
But I'll tell you something you know what?
You got to accept your part of the blame!
I'm not the one who fouled up the serum!
I'm not the one who who who who
haphazardly, you know, mixed a bunch of nonsense
together and created a bunch of cronenbergs!
你得解决这事儿 Rick - 好吧 好吧 Morty
You got to fix this, Rick! - All right, all right, Morty.
You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here,
but I do have one emergency solution that I can use
that'll kind of put everything back to normal, relatively speaking.
Here, Morty, put this on
while I do a little bit of scouting.
哇 Rick 我得说
Wow, Rick, I got to say
you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time.
I mean, I-I really thought that
the whole place was gonna be messed up for good,
but here you did it
you figured out that crazy solution, like you always do.
That's some great luck.
得了吧 Morty 跟运气没关系
Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it.
I'm great. That's the real reason.
Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy?
Will you hand me a screwdriver
so I can finish my ionic de-defibulizer?
Sure thing, Rick.
Here's a screwdriver.
All right, Morty.
Thank you very much.
We got one screw turn...
and two screw turns... and...
好了 Morty 我们到了
All right, Morty, here we are.
天啊 Rick 那是我们吗
Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us?!
What is going on, Rick?
I'm freaking out!
Calm down, Morty!
看着我 冷静 Morty
Look at me! Calm down, Morty!
不行 我接受不了 - 冷静下来 Morty
No, I can't deal with this! - Calm yourself, Morty.
这种事我受不了 Rick - 冷静 Morty
I can't deal with this, Rick! - Calm down, Morty.
骗人的吧 - 冷静下来 Morty
This can't be real! - You got to calm down, Morty.
W-w-w-w-we're ripped apart!
Shut up and listen to me!
It's fine. Everything is fine.
There's an infinite number of realities, Morty
and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky
and turned everything back to normal.
I just had to find one of those realities
in which we also happen to both die around this time.
Now we can just slip into the place of
our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine.
We're not skipping a beat, Morty.
Now, help me with these bodies.
This is insane.
Look, Morty, I'll grab myself,
you grab yourself, okay?
I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me, I mean,
that seems like a fair way to divvy it up.
Rick, what about the reality we left behind?
What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty?
The answer is don't think about it.
It's not like we can do this every week, anyways.
We get three or four more of these, tops.
Now, pick up your dead self and come on.
Haste makes waste.
I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail,
but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did
我们现在就是死人了 再说一次 不用谢
we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome.
《Look On Down from the Bridge》 Mazzy Star
You know, the thing about a shark...
he's got lifeless eyes...
black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be living
until he bites ya, and then the the blood,
and the red, and the water...
You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty?
But, I'm ashamed to admit,
now that they're gone, I'm finally happy.
Here we are, cronenberg Morty
a reality where everyone in the world got genetically cronenberged.
We'll fit right in, cronenberg Morty.
It'll be like we never even left cronenberg world.
Yeah, cronenberg Rick,
but, you know, I'm gonna miss cronenberg world,
because everyone was cronenberged
all along like us from the beginning, you know?
I mean, I-I wish we hadn't genetically ruined
cronenberg world beyond repair like we did,
you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people just walking around.
Don't you worry about that sort of thing, cronenberg Morty.
Let's go make ourselves at home, huh?
- 翻译: 史努比一体机
- 校对: Kimmu
- 后期: 小萌
- 压制: 凯撒
Look, I'm not paying 70 smidgens for a broken defraculator.
That is multiphase quantum resonator.
那它能反定帆吗 - [哔]不能
Well, does it defraculate? - [Bleep]No.
Then-then-then it's a broken defraculator.
Like you would even know dick about fraculation.
Your planet just got cellphones, and the coverage still sucks!
Yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur.
So let's say 60 smidgens.
I tell you what, I'll do you a favor
I'll throw in a fart.
Hey, uh, Rick, um, you think maybe I could
get something from this place
就一件纪念品嘛 单纯为了收藏 比如什么酷酷的东西
like, like a souvenir, like just to have like something cool, you know?
这儿就算了 Morty 我们去别的地方
Not here Morty, we'll stop somewhere else
because, you know, there's always another pawn shop.
Oh okay, I just, um, you know, that robot over there
looked pretty cool, you know?
Oh, it looks cool, huh?
That's why you want it?
Yeah! You know, I mean it's different from the stuff on Earth,
and, you know, you take me to all these crazy places across the galaxy,
and, you know, I don't really have anything to,
to remember all the trips by.
It'd be kind of cool, like a souvenir.
You know, like, what if you passed away or died or something?
I wouldn't even have anything to
remember all the cool stuff we did, you know?
Okay. 60 for the resonator,
and my grandson wants the sex robot.
So, we're just going to pretend this isn't happening?
I'm not saying that a bad idea, just asking.
Rick, why would you let Morty bring that thing into our house.
What do you want form me?
He thi-, he thou-, he thou-, he th-, he thought it looked cool.
You know what I mean.
呼 啊 好了 接着 回楼上
Whew. Ahh. All right. Back to-, b-back upstair.
Well, I'm invervening.
Intervening with puberty?
You'll turn him into Ralph Fiennes in "Red Dragon."
《红龙》是汉尼拔系列小说中的第一部 后改编为电影 拉尔夫费因斯在其中饰演童年不幸的变态连环杀手"牙仙"
He's just at that age.
Let's just be proud of him.
Jesus. Did I really set the bar that low?
呃 Rick 你能来一下吗 快点
Um, Rick, could you come with me, please, quickly?
Ok, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene.
Where's the sex robot, Morty?
那就是Gwendolyn 我是说 机器人
That is Gwendolyn. I-I mean, the robot!
She started beeping and then transformed and tried to fly away!
Strange. That's usually the man's job.
You know what I'm talking about, Morty?
Wubba lubba dub dub
Wubba lubba dub dub！
Morty 这是我的口头禅 还记得吗
Morty, that's my catchphrase, remember?
Remember how-how I cemented that catchphrase?
All right. All ritht, seriously, though.
Let me grab this thing.
Come on, you... rascal.
Okay, unacceptable! Oh
What is going on?
All right. Uh-oh.
"Uh-Oh"? What is that?!
Hmm. I think Morty's robot was designed for more than long weekends.
Genetic compiler, incubation chamber.
Yep. This, here's some kind of baby maker,
and that there's half Morty, half who-who knows wh-what?
It's my bad, guys.
I'll, I'll take care of it.
Rick外公 - 不行 - 哇哦
Grandpa Rick! - No, no! - Whoa whoa whoa!
What do you think you're doing?!
Hey, listen. You guys quarantined the house
when summer brought olives back from Mexico.
I mean, this thing could grow to the size of Delaware.
I mean, it might eat brains and exhale space AIDS.
We got to be careful.
该小心的时候我没小心 现在已经没机会了 Rick
I lost the chance to be careful, Rick.
I'm a father now!
You know, it's time for me to be responsible.
Isn't that right...
Don't name it.
Oh， Crap. He named it.
爸 这是个小生命 而且有一半是人类
Well, dad, it's a living thing, and it's half human.
And it was born on american soil, which entitles it to...
Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake.
Don't punish us for it.
Fine. I'm gonna take this thing to my workshop
and do a little bit of investigating.
Do not let that thing out of your sight.
It looks harmless now, but it could grow into something dangerous.
Like the Insane Clown Posse.
Insane Clown Posse 美国嘻哈组合
呵呵 这笑话真不错 Jerry
Yeah. Good one, Jerry.
此处指的可能是2003年Blink 182的单曲Easy Target
2003 just called and wants its Easy Target back.
Ohh. He's like a little me!
Y-you don't think he'll turn into a monster... do you?
They always do.
Hey, uh, 1995 called!
They want their "cartain year called wanting its 'blank' back" formula back!
何必呢 Jerry 何必要费力做这种事
Why, Jerry? why expend the effort?
活着就要费力 生命不息 奋斗不止
Life is effort. I'll stop when I die!
Well, I can't solve the problem my way,
thanks to your family's primitive biological hang-ups.
Gross. I might have just touched one of Morty's loads.
But maybe I can find suitable parents for Morty Jr.
on this robot's home world, which is...
Gazorpazorp in the Andromeda system.
Don't you need a new companion
now that Morty's in the family way?
I don't do adventures with chicks, Summer.
Oh, right. Because there's something about having a wiener
that would make me better at walking through a hole?
Grandpa Rick! Ugh!
救命 救命 啊
Help! Help! Aah! Aah!
Still think it's a good idea to go through holes without a wiener?
I want to go home.
Yeah, no duh.
Great. Now I have to take over a whole planet
because of your stupid boobs.
You're doing great, Morty
Really? You think? I mean, I'm not doing much of anything.
What do I do if it cries?
Then you put it down and let if cry itself out.
Yeah, right. We tried that technique on Summer,
and she's gonna end up stripping.
Isn't she? Yes, she is.
She's gonna strip for attention.
Because she was denied it.
Stop filling it with your own insecurity.
You're gonna turn it into Morty- uh, um
跟 跟 跟你自己一样
more- more- more of you.
Well, we can't all be raised like reptiles by a mentally ill scientist.
搞什么 啊 啊
What the aah! Aah!
Listen to me. I'm not rewarding this behavior.
Knock if off, both of you! G-give me him!
Give me my baby!
You're both nuts.
I'm gonna raise Morty Jr. myself!
Where's your hands
There's your hands
And that's how we play handy hands
Oh, you are going to ruin that kid, Morty.
At least we can agree on that.
I said, "Thanks, Dum-Dum."
Go get more.
Summer, put your burka on!
That burka is a human-rights violation,
and I spend a lot on this top.
Look, I'm trying to repair a p-portal gun with a bunch of sex-doll parts,
and I have to do it one-handed
to keep these Belushis from carting you off.
此处指美国演员Jim Belushi 丹哈蒙非常厌恶他 在Community中也黑过此人
The least you could do is be ashamed of your gender.
Ugh. What's the deal with this place?
Why is it such a sausage planet,
and how did such backward idiots invent robots?
很显然 在某个时期 这些格索尔帕人 发展到了一定程度
Obviously, at some point, the Gazorpians became so evolved
that they replaced females with birthing machines.
这样一来 不会被女性分散注意力 也没有唠叨
The resultant lack of distraction and hen-pecking
allowed them to focus entirely on war,
so they bombed themselves back to the stone age,
and now they just fight with each other over fake [Bleep]
with sticks and rocks all day long.
You think it's efficient to get rid of woman?
You ever see a line for the men's room?
你听 你有 你明白我的意思吗 Summer
Are you hear- do you li- do you hear me, Summer?
投放 - 投放
Droppin' loads - Droppin' loads
The plot thickens.
Uh you might want to cover your eyes, Summer.
Yeah, like it was my dream to watch.
Summer, grab- grab hold.
Grandpa Rick, where are we going?
显然啊 Summer 看来这个社会的下层阶级
Well, obviously, Summer, it appears the lower tier of this society
is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class.
Oh, there, there we go, Summer.
嘿 哥们儿 兄弟
Hey, hey, brother. Hey, bro.
Nice racket you got going on here.
我是来自地球的Rick Sanchez 1-137次元
Listen, I'm Rick Sanchez from Earth, dimension c-137.
Don't mean you any harm. Coming in peace.
It's all cool in the, uh- "Good in the neighborhood"
is what I was trying to come- is what I meant.
噢 我懂了 剧情转向了老套的"男人背后都有的"亚马逊人
Oh, I get it. The old behind-every-great-man Amazon twist.
Your slave is ill-mannered.
We assume you're from a more primitive world,
where men are still permitted to be servants.
If he is a rogue male, tell us now,
and we will kill him.
他是我的奴隶 是奴隶 绝对是
He's my slave. He's my slave. He's definitely my slave.
Ugh! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh!
天啊 这简直是"Wubba lubba dub dub"的反面
Oh, boy. What's the opposite of "Wubba lubba dub dubs"?
Am I right, ladies and gentlemen?
Are you guys kidding me?
Oh, Morty Jr.!
You're gonna be a special little guy, aren't you?
You, oh yeah. You're my special little guy.
Ohh. Ohh, ha ha!
What was that, Morty Jr.?
Were you gonna say, "Dada"?
The spider in sector C is still alive.
Plan your route accordingly and expect delays.
We're not telling you what to do.
We're just sharing how we feel.
现在播报天气 是只有我 还是其他人也觉得冷
And now weather. Is anyone else cold, or is it just me?
I am Mar-Sha, ruler of Gazorpazorp.
I am here if you need to talk.
What is this place?
Paradise. We bulit it during the great passive-aggression,
when the females separated from the males
due to their increasingly destructive behavior.
I'm here if you need to talk.
I'm here if you need to talk.
From here, we dispense mechanical surrogates
to maintain our population.
Fertilized surrogates are returned here to our nursery.
The females are placed into educational programs
where they can discover a service to our paradise
that fulfills them most.
...they get to play outside.
That was just a baby.
And within a day, he'll be an adult male Gazorpian,
one of the most aggressively violent creatures in the universe.
Wait a minute. We're here becuase a male Gazorpian was born on our planet.
You speak when you're spoken to, ding-a-ling!
It's true, though. One of your babies was born on Earth.
Are you the ruler of this Earth.
How did you know?
The quality of your top.
Do you love it?
I love it.
有什么心事都可以跟我说 - 有什么心事都可以跟我说
I'm here if you need to talk. - I'm here if you need to talk.
If the Gazorpian is male,
your Earth is in grave danger.
We will give you passage back home so it can be terminated.
But first, Mojitos.
We don't have time for Mojitos.
You're insulting them.
I don't care, Summer.
This place is the worst!
I want to go home!
Well, it really doesn't matter what you want,
because this is a sane place where women rule.
Yeah. You know what I have to say about that?
I cannot believe my ears.
Who let the frogs out, huh?
《Who let the frog out》是Crazy Frog的一首单曲
外公 - 这听着是个父权社会的词啊
Grandpa? - That sounds patriarchal!
It means "father of fathers".
Then this one is not you slave,
and your Earth is yet another planet dominated by men.
It's not dominated by us, okay?
On Earth, men and women are equals.
Equals? We make 70% of your salary for the same job!
Was this really the time to make that point, Summer?
This is for you, daddy.
Um, okay. Listen to me, Morty Jr.
I've got to tell you something very important, okay?
Killing is bad, bad!
You're silly, daddy.
不 小Morty 我很认真
No, Morty Jr. I'm being serious, okay?
You need to put your energy into something else.
I mean, what about dancing?
Would you like to learn how to dance?
I'd like to dance, on the grave of my enemies.
Ohh! No, Morty Jr.!
Daddy, can I go outside?
No! Absolutely not!
But that's where all the people and the animals are.
没错 但是你不能出去 因为
Yeah, but you can't go out there because the-
the air is poisonous for you!
You will die-You'll die instantly if you ever leave this house!
You hear me?
真的吗 - 比珍珠还真
For real? - For real times a million, buddy.
我们就好好待在屋子里好吗 我们跳舞吧 来试一下 好吗
So let's just stay inside, and, you know, let's just try dancing, right?
Look at me. Yay! Look.
来跳舞啊 来嘛 跟我一起跳
We're gonna dance. Come on. Join- dance with me here.
We love to dance.
Why do we love to dance?
Because I said so!
好样的 - 干得好
Nice. - Nice.
So, what are you in for?
Because I got- I got a big, you know, penis between my legs.
What- what- what are you in for?
The worst crime a female can commit.
Veronica Ann Bennett 因难看的刘海 我宣判你有罪
Veronica Ann Bennett, I find you guilty of having bad bangs.
You ever notice the ones with bad bangs always have three names?
You are hereby sentenced to the silent treatment!
This is gonna be cake.
Rick and Summer of Earth,
for the crimes of treason against womankind
and for creating the sound of which we do not speak
because it does not exist.
You're hereby sentenced to-
What, what, what- a night on the couch?
I hate you so much right now.
This will be the first instance of capital punishment
in our society in 500 years due to our awesomeness,
so we are forced to improvise.
We placed a large boulder on that ledge.
Holy shit! Y-y-you're gonna crash us with a boulder?
No! Stop interrupting!
The boulder falls onto a lever
that will lauch knives.
What? Just give me a gun. I'll kill myself.
Stop interrupting! The knives will-
Fine! You were right the first time, okay?
The boulder crushes you.
I just didn't want to admit you were right. Happy?
别这样 别理他们 别理他们就好
No, just ignore them. Ignore them.
Such an asshole.
Look, I'm sorry, Summer.
I feel bad that I let you drag us into this.
I wish I could have been a better grandpa to you，
and, you know, for what it's worth,
that is a really nice, cute top that you're wearing there.
上衣 我的上衣 就是你之前称赞过的那件上衣
Top. My top. The same top you complimented earlier!
Look- Look at the tag. Read it.
It says, "Marc Jacobs".
Marc Jacobs 美国知名服装设计师 已出柜
These are names of the penis.
Yes. An Earth man made this top.
Maybe on your planet separation of the genders is the right thing to do,
But on Earth, a certain percentage of our males are born gay,
which is why my clothes are better than all of yours.
A man made something fashionable?
It's true. And sometimes the truth hurts,
but it must be accepted, like if I told you
that you're using the wrong color foundation for you skin
and it ends at your neck,
making you look like a party clown.
Okay, ouch. Noted.
But the fact remains if you impose Gazorpazor's laws on Earth,
you're no better than the man whose farts shall remain unspoken.
And if you think my top is cute, you cannot execute.
Very well. Give the Earth people a spacecraft
so they may head back to their weird planet,
where women are kind of equal but not really.
干得好 Summer 谢谢了 妹子们
Good job, Summer. And thanks, girls.
You know, you girls are really something, I'll tell you that.
You know, when we first got here, I was like...
Give them a ship now.
Morty Jr.! Smoking?!
That is not okay!
What are you gonna do? Ground me?
I can't go outside anyway!
So what?! You could do things inside!
You could play guitar. You could masturbate.
I don't want to masturbate. I want to conquer the planet!
Oh, here we go again!
如果你征服了地球 谁还会爱你呢 小Morty
Who do you think is gonna love you if you conquer the planet, Morty Jr.?!
Love, that's all you care about!
What about weapons?! What about domination of the enemy?!
All right, that's it. No more history channel!
This TV is for cartoons and video games only!
I hate video games!
You take that back! Give it to me! Ugh!
I-I-I didn't mean, I didn't mean that.
I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry.
I can't take this anymore!
I'd rather breathe poison than live another minute with you!
No! No, no, no! Stop!
My life has been a lie!
God is dead!
The government's lame!
Thanksgiving is about killing Indians!
Jesus wasn't born on Christmas!
They moved the date!
It was a pagan holiday!
My son is gonna take over the planet, and I am too young to drive!
Can you help me get him back?!
可以吧 Morty 应该可以吧
I suppose, Morty. I suppose.
But first, a deep sip from a very tall glass of "I told you so."
Oh, my god! Please, dad! Come on!
Dad, there he is!
Oh, God. Hey, stop that!
天啊 天啊 爸
Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Dad!
Morty Jr., no!
是我啊 是爸爸 没事的
It's me! It's dad. It's okay!
Put the car down, Morty Jr.
不 不 小手在哪里
No! No! Wh-where's your hands?
Where's your hands?
And that's how we play handy hands
Out of the- out of the way, Morty!
不 - Morty 这是全宇宙最暴力的生物之一
No! - Morty, that's one of the most violently aggressive creatures in the universe!
He's my son!
你想要伤害他 就先夸过我的尸体吧 Rick
And if you hurt him, you'll have to kill me, Rick!
Dad, I'm so confused!
我知道 小Morty 对不起
I know, Morty Jr. I'm sorry.
我最后还是像我父母对我那样 和你撒谎 对你大喊大叫了
I ended up lying to you and yelling at you just like my parents did to me.
You know, parents are just kids having kids.
One minute, you like how a shiny robot looks.
The next minute, you're in a fist fight with your alien son.
I'm an alien?
We all have bad impulses, bad thoughts.
We just have to learn to channel them into something constructive.
But I want to murder everyone I see.
Well, you know, I mean, maybe there's a job out there for people that feel that way.
Actually, there is.
嗨 我是Brad Aderson 全国连载的连环漫画《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的作者
Hi. I'm Brad Anderson, creator of the nationally syndicated comic strip "Marmaduke".
You should consider being a creative.
I'm haunted by uncontrollable thoughts of
mutilations and sexual assaults on a near daily basis.
But, you know, I channel it all into my work.
Huh. I never got that impression from reading "Marmaduke".
Well, did you get the impression that I was trying to make you laugh?
不是吧 那是Brad Anderson
Tell me that wasn't Brad Anderson.
看见了吗 你听到了吧 小Morty
Aw, see? You hear that, Morty Jr.?
Maybe you could try being a creative of some kind.
I always have sort of wanted to see my face on the back of a novel.
I mean, what I really want to do is slit people's throats, but beyond that...
I know you can do it, son.
I think it's time I get a place of my own.
I promise I'll call you every day I need money or a place to do
So, I assume this novel your son writes is gonna pay for my rear axle?
挺有趣的吧 Summer 我们做了这么多事
Isn't it interesting, Summer, that after all that stuff we just did,
nothing really mattered and there was no point to it?
Kind of makes you wonder, huh, about nothing?
Are you sure it doesn't make you re-evaluate your policy
about taking girls on adventures?
No. I'd say, given what we've been through,
that I was right the whole time
and any epiphanies about gender politics
were a projection of your feminine insecurity.
But, hey, why don't you have a pink spaceship?
Go ride around and have a jolly old time.
Maybe that'll shut you up.
爸 Summer 这么长时间你们跑哪儿去了
Dad? Summer? Where were you guys this whole time?
On Gazorpazorp. Where were you?
I was reading a newspaper.
Oh, that's interesting, Beth.
You know, it's funny.
I-I-I heard about a little bit of news myself.
Take a look. T-take a listen.
Wubba lubba dub dubs
Wubba lubba dub dubs!
This, this world still got a- It's still got a chance!
Yeah! Ha ha!
See you- see you guys next week!
See everybody next week.
今天我们请到了小Mortimer Smith 纽约时报最畅销的作者
A word with Mortimer Smith, Jr., New York Times best-selling author,
your book is about innocence, the definition of it,
当然 不可避免地 谈到了它的不可实现
and inevitably its impossibility.
Is it autobiographical?
当然 在我看来 所有的写作都是
Certainly. I mean, all writing is, in my opinion.
But my, uh, my father kept me locked in the house until I was a teenager,
有过暴力 有过毒气的威胁 但也有舞蹈
and there was violence and, uh, threats of poison gas, but also dancing.
But you persevered and created this masterpiece from your sufferings.
Smith Jr.'s mind-bending novel, "My Horrible Father" in every store and on everyone's mind.
Pick it up. We'll be right back.
It's a thankless job, Morty.
You did the best you could.
I hope he's eating enough.
Big man comin for dinner, broh. Better check the booze.
撑着点 瑞克 已经快到了
C'mon, Rick. We're -- We're almost there.
别管我 莫蒂 这是唯一的方法
Ugh, leave me, Morty. It's the only way.
Wha-- Were -- Wha-- Were we --
Were we Blades in that one?
That's fucking tight.
Just stay with me.
I'm -- I'm scared, Morty.
I can see the end.
I'm a silly man.
I'm -- I'm sorry I got you into this.
and how about I get us outta this?
I-It's Morty. From school.
Oh, hey, Morty. What's up?
Um, I just want to say that you're really great.
I know the timing never really worked out with us,
but you're really great and I wish I got to know you better.
Oh, I mean -- That's a lot.
对 抱歉 我只是
Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, I guess I just
No, I just wish you said it sooner.
Yeah, I mean, being nervous is sort of selfish sometimes, y'know?
Life support systems failing.
Yeah, that's a great point.
Well, what are you doing tonight?
Do you, like, want to watch a movie or something?
好 今晚 没问题
Um, yeah. Tonight. Sounds great.
Holy shit. Holy shit.
Come on, come on!
Where are we?
We're home, Rick.
I-I landed us in the ocean.
The ocean?! The ocean on Earth?!
Uh, yeah, I-I guess so.
Holy shit. We have to go.
We have to go right fucking now.
You touched the ocean, Morty.
What's the big
Oh, fuck. Shit.
Richard! You have desecrated the sacred treaty
- sacred [ˈseɪkrɪd] 神圣的；宗教的；庄严的
betwixt land and sea.
Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe -- Mr. Nimbus!
- wrath [ræθ] 愤怒；激怒
- eternal [ɪˈtɜːrnl] 永恒的；不朽的
- foe [foʊ] 敌人；反对者；危害物
Sorry. Who is that?
- nemesis [ˈneməsɪs] 天敌
My fucking nemesis, okay?
Okay, but what was his name again?
I am Mr. Nimbus!
He's gonna say that a lot.
W-Wait, so who is coming over again?
He said his nemesis?
Rick has a nemesis?
Has hementioned him before?
I-I was gonna ask you. First I'm hearing it.
Who is he? Like a magic guy?
Rick's science and he's magic?
He's like a-a fish?
He's not a fish.
He's Mr. Nimbus. He's king of the ocean and he's a piece of shit.
Are you happy, Morty?
Are you happy you touched the ocean?
He's gonna be here any minute.
Just help me smooth this over
or this guy's gonna become more trouble than he's worth.
Um, hey, I don't know how much I can help out tonight, Rick.
Jessica's coming over j-just to, like,
watch a movie or something,
but y'know, t-t-that's a good step.
That's a solid step to something, y'know?
Truly nobody cares about your dick, Morty.
The sooner you learn that, the better.
I think you just don't want me happy
'cause then I'll stop doing your crazy chores.
- chore [tʃɔːr] 家庭杂务；日常的零星事务；讨厌的或累人的工作
Trust me, after that ocean fuck-up,
you don't get to do anything crazy.
While I bullshit my way
through this peace summit treaty with Nimbus,
Summer is gonna dive into the Marianas Trench
to recover the forbidden shell
that gives him his power
because Summer can be trusted.
Let's lick ass.
好 什么 -我不喜欢
Okay, what? -I don't love that.
Of course you don't,
'cause you guys aren't getting any.
Actually, your father and I
have been very sex-positive lately.
Dr. Wong suggested we experiment.
We've been watching pornography. Together.
- pornography [pɔːrˈnɑːɡrəfi] 色情作品
Gross! I might never come back from the ocean.
Oh, you'll have to tone it down, babe.
The squares can't handle it.
- He's a bit of a square. 他有点儿古板。
There are suicide capsules in all of your teeth.
Do what you want with that.
C'mon, Morty. You're on booze duty.
Okay, Nimbus only drinks the good shit.
So just toss this whale-ass ocean-wine in here
and age it up a few centuries.
So time moves faster in there?
I-I-Is it like a Narnia thing?
I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty.
But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing.
-好吧 但杰西卡 -你只负责端酒
-Okay, but Jessica -All you have to do is bring wine, Morty.
-When do I ask you for anything? -When do you --
I haven't been to a full week of school in years!
I don't know shit! And for what?
How many enemies do you have to have?
Why is everything a fight with you?
You might want to learn this early, Morty.
-Life is a fight. -With Mr. Nimbus?
Are you makin' fun of me?
Mr. Nimbus is an ice-cold dick killer, Morty.
Okay, let's go. That's his magic ocean horn.
Is that Mr. Nimbus?
You look like ass.
Let's get this over with.
I'm sorry. This is the guy?
-杰瑞 -等等 不
-Jerry. -Hold on. No.
I've seen you fuck a planet,
and this is the guy you're afraid of?
I like this one, Rick.
He is unbroken. Untamed.
Perhaps he could use a firmer grip upon his leash.
好 够了 我要报警了
Okay, that's enough. I'm calling the police.
-Go ahead. -Jerry.
-I will! Good. -I control them.
-什么 -能控制警察 杰瑞
-Excuse me? -He controls police, Jerry.
Right, that tracks. In Dumb World.
A strange horny ocean man is on my lawn.
Well, I don't see how that's relevant,
but we're white.
Freeze! Freeze! Freeze! Freeze!
Flee. Let's get outta here.
-来吧 理查德 -他怎么
-Shall we, Richard? -Okay, but how did he --
天啊 杰瑞 他是宁波先生 他能控制警察
Jesus Christ, Jerry. He's Mr. Nimbus. He controls the police!
Um, hello? Am I in the right place?
I just saw a bunch of cops having sex with each other?
Hi! Jessica! Hi!
Yeah, yup, y-you're in the right spot.
Uh, everyone, th-this is Jessica.
This is everybody. Uh, this is --
I am Mr. Nimbus.
Jesus, Nimbus, just get inside.
Morty, grab the wine.
好 等一下 进来吧 杰西卡
Yeah, in a minute. C-C'mon, Jessica.
Unless you are worthy of Nimbus.
If that means what I think it means,
I'll have you know, we watch porn together.
Wow, okay! Looks like you guys just got the nod.
Mr. Nimbus has a sense for these things.
I take it you're a sex-positive couple?
Oh, yeah. Very much so.
We watch porn together. Great!
I'll mark you down as eligible for a threeway.
Here's all the information you'll need.
The king of the ocean wants to have a threesome with us?
不过机会难得 我保证 我很嫉妒你们
But a remarkable option to have, I assure you. Very jealous.
There's a form on the last page
so we know where to send the gift basket.
So that just happened.
You don't sound upset about it.
Neither do you.
Oh, my God. Is this happening? To us?
I thought this only happened in New York or on HBO.
Dr. Wong hasn't been wrong yet.
This is exactly what she was talking about.
So, uh, yeah. J-Just make yourself comfortable.
Y'know, ch-choose a movie or -- or we can watch
some interdimensional cable if you want.
We now return to "Nintendo 69."
Nintendo, oh, what are you doing to me?
Oh, Nintendo, oh, Nin--
Or we can watch whatever, y'know.
Wh-Whatever you're into.
Morty, did I hear you're getting wine?
Yeah, I gotta get some wine for Mr. Nimbus.
Got any extra?
Oh. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I'll go get some, just for you.
Cool. Hurry back.
Looks like you could use a hand.
Oh, hey! Yeah, th-th-that'd be great.
-没问题 -小蹄 吃晚餐了
-No problem. Hoovy? -Dinner's ready!
Be right there, sugar hoof!
Just helping this young man through a portal
with that crate full of alcohol
that's been here for decades.
谢了 小蹄 谢谢你的帮忙
Hey, thanks, Hoovy. I-I really appreciate that.
I-I got a girl over, and I really, really like her.
-I-I'm just nervous. -Oh, I know that feeling.
When I first started seeing Bova,
I could only think about all the ways I was gonna mess it up.
-So what'd you do? -Oh, I messed it up.
But I found the one who loves me for that.
Thanks. I-I really needed to hear that.
-来 拿一瓶走吧 -不用了
-Here, -t-take one of these. -Oh, you don't have to.
不 我坚持 祝你有美好的一天 小蹄
No, I-I want to. You have a good day, Hoovy.
You have a great time with that lady up there.
-Just relax. -Will do!
Why did you leave us, Father?
Japheth? When were you born?
I swore to Mother if I ever met you,
I'd avenge her.
It wasn't my fault.
Whose, then? Whose?!
The boy from the magic door.
Shall we discuss terms?
好 没问题 内容如下
Yeah, fine. Whatever. Terms.
Term number one -- I am King of the Ocean.
The place I shit? Go ahead.
Term number two -- Stop shitting in the ocean.
No idea what you're talking about.
Oh, uh, well, I-I was thinking of using this one for --
莫蒂 快给他 天啊
Morty, just give him the bottle. God damn.
Morty, you get the wine?
Hey, Jessica. Um, yeah, sorry.
I just -- just going back to get it.
Oh. I thought you already went.
I did! I just -- just got a little busy.
Going right now, again!
You go ahead and fire up that movie!
That's okay. I'll wait for you.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
I've been waiting for you.
天啊 你是小蹄 对吧
Oh, wow. Hoovy, right?
Never say his name!
Why -- Why is every old guy super jacked?
Sorry! I'm sorry!
我只是要拿酒 抱歉 住手
I-I just need the wine! I'm sorry! Stop it!
Fucking kill you!
Ow! Okay, screw this!
You know what?
-是你 -对 去死吧小蹄
-You! -Yeah, fuck you, Hoovy!
就是他 我就说他会再来 天啊
It's him! I told you he'd come back! Holy shit.
Okay, look, he wasn't old like 10 seconds ago.
Ow! Mother fucker!
对不起 爸爸 我们应该相信你的
I'm sorry, Father. I'm sorry we never believed.
He'll come back.
Papa, why do we guard the gate?
Because one day, the dark child shall return.
And we will be ready.
Where is your wine boy, Richard? I thirst.
He's getting it. Stop eating beignets like that.
Participant voids all liability
in the event of death by orgasm?
Are we really ready to open things this wide?
What if it gets weird?
I fall in love with him?
No, no, no, no, no. Damn it!
What was that?
Another scheme of yours, Richard?
I know you're planning something.
没什么 失陪一下 好吗
It's nothing. Will you excuse me, please?
What the fuck is going on? Where's the wine?
Dad was horny and I dropped it.
God, I can't -- I can't believe you're fucking this up.
I'm not fucking it up! There was a guy in the thing and --
There's always a guy in a thing!
Land dwellers do not keep Nimbus waiting and live.
Be right out! Goddammit.
Do you see this whisper kitchen "Frasier" bullshit
懂吗 莫蒂 快去拿酒
you're making me do? Morty, just get the wine.
Beth and Jerry, stop trying to fuck Nimbus.
-Well, we wouldn't do it here. -I'll have you know he propositioned us.
He propositions everybody!
Hey, hey, hey, Jessica.
-W-What's up? Seems like you're busy.
No, no, no! I ran into a little trouble.
But -- But -- But I'll go get that wine right now.
But you said were going to get it like twice already.
I-I-I was and I-I'm getting it right now.
Holy shit, it's him!
God damn it! What do you want me to say?!
We finally beat him.
But let's always remain vigilant
because you never know.
He might be back one day.
好 纳尼亚 来吧
Okay, Narnia! Let's go.
Let's fucking go!
It is over. The boy is not coming back.
He always comes back.
You have wasted our lives,
our very futures, on a fantasy!
-A lie! -I know what I saw.
You saw nothing!
You are a foolish boy!
Those called fools
are the only ones brave enough to see the truth.
Tell me, Father.
Am I a fool now?
I was born in the pits that made these stones.
I lost my years building a temple to a lie.
So I made lies my power.
And what is power but a lie we --
Oh, shit, he's real!
He's real! I was wrong!
我搞错了 大错特错 神是...
I was so wrong! God is real!
Wow. Impeccable service.
-Big tip. -I liked your other one more.
What was his name? Kyle?
Can we just sign this thing and go?
-杰西卡 真抱歉 -没关系
-Jessica, -I-I'm so sorry. -I mean, it's fine.
You were only gone like a couple minutes.
Morty, are you okay?
I'm -- I'm sorry, Jessica.
We just never seem to get it right, do we?
No, I guess we don't.
But I'm glad you called me.
Maybe we can start over, get it right this time.
Yeah. I'd -- I'd like that.
Thanks for bringing the wine.
Totally worth it.
Do we need an opener?
Oh. I'll -- I'll -- I'll go get it.
I do so love to sign upon the dotted line.
-Shall we? -Jesus Christ, yes.
And who is your witness?
My witness is the squid.
Really proud of this SeaWorld theme, aren't you?
Hey, just get a witness, man. Don't make this about me.
Or perhaps Richard has no one
with whom he can trust his life.
Who truly knows him.
Save me. Fine!
好吧 我去找人 天啊
I'll get someone. Oh, my God.
莫蒂 过来 我需要你做件事
Morty! C'mere. I need you for some bullshit.
Look, Rick, I've done everything you've asked.
Now can I just have some time with my girlfriend?
I mean, she's not -- we kissed,
but I'm just trying to take it slow.
You gotta give these things time to breathe, y'know?
Do you know why you're special, Adam?
-Because I am The Traveler? -Yes.
You will be the one to pass through the door.
to end our pain.
But, Mother, what about my pain?
Your pain shall set us free.
It is time to begin.
-你还没准备好 -拜托 妈妈
-You are not ready. -Please, Mother --
Do you think he will show you mercy?
Like he did to us?
Does anyone need anything?
-Holy shit! -Don't judge.
We're growing as a couple! Aah!
Why is this happening to me?!
For the future!
You dare assassinate Nimbus?
抱歉 等等 他是谁
Sorry. Wait. Who -- Who is that?
Get in line, pal!
Such a waste.
You just had to touch the ocean.
Aaah! Shut up!
There isn't time to --
It's all fucked! And you fucked it!
W-What is this place?
The end. But also a beginning.
-每个终点都是起点 对吧 -后退
-Isn't every end a beginning? -Stay back!
I don't want your stripped down Sundance sci-fi bullshit.
-Where's Jessica? -Jessica.
那是她的名字 对吧 谢了 莫蒂
That was her name, wasn't it? Thank you, Morty.
I had forgotten. Oh, right.
You'll be needing this.
For the wine.
Oh, shit, we got him!
Can you believe he bought that fucking tree bullshit?
We fucking got him!
If you seek war with Atlantis, you shall have it.
Oh, I've already been to war with Atlantis
when I D-Day'd that Mermaid Puss!
I knew that was you!
Prepare my exit parade!
Say goodbye to your precious dry land!
For soon it will be wet! Wet!
Yeah, global warming is already doing that, asshole.
But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet!
Am I a joke to you?
Yes, you are a fucking joke!
You fucking suck! You've always sucked!
Y-Y-Y know why we haven't fought in years?
'Cause you're an embarrassment to me
and I don't need you anymore.
I don't need anybody.
All I do is eat ass and 69 Nintendos, bro.
-Every day. -Or maybe you hate me
because I am the only man to see how far you have fallen.
I used to fear you. Respect you.
Now all that's left is pity --
for a sad, drunk shell of a man
too afraid to see how alone he truly is.
If Diane were alive today, what would she think --
Don't fucking establish
canonical backstory with
me, you Red Lob--
Oh, good. You're awake.
I just took some wine!
I said I was sorry.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?!
I have been asking that for centuries.
I was created to study you, Morty, to know you.
But the closer I looked,
the more I do not recognize myself.
Uh, yeah, man, I really don't have time for --
I have often wondered who would we be without you, Morty?
Are we anything beyond our hatred?
And when she came,
I thought she would be the answer.
Frozen in time. Forever asleep.
We could not understand her purpose,
so we hid her away.
Why do we always hide the truths we fear?
I don't give a shit, nerd!
-Let her go! -Why -- Why did I clone myself genitals?
我不在乎 混蛋 快点
Ow! I don't care, bitch! Do it!
Ooh! Asshole! Yeah, guess I am an asshole!
Y'know, sometimes you gotta be an asshole!
My grandpa taught me that!
Okay, okay, okay, fine!
-Morty? -Hey, Jessica.
Wow. Must've been some nap, huh?
I-Is that ooze or -- I'm not sure what to call it.
It l-l-looks like ooze.
Okay. W-We can catch up later.
What the --
-...obster motherfucker. Rick!
-管他的 我在干嘛 -救命
Screw this. What am I even doing? -Help!
Where are you?
Come back here. I'm going to make the land wet!
Y'know what, I'd love to see it.
Do it! God, do anything!
Just don't use me as an excuse anymore!
That was intense.
You look stressed.
We signed the paperwork. I must go.
Well, your people have our number!
Your starfish mentioned some kind of basket?
-莫蒂 能不能别... -停止...
-Jesus, Morty. Stop! -No, no! Not today!
Can't you go one day without --You don't get to --
-什么... -我搞砸了 好吗
-What the -I fucked it up, okay?
没关系 莫蒂 你就是这样
It's okay, Morty. That's what you do.
Now lemme Deus Ex Machina this shit and let's go home.
God, why does everyone go Cyber-Punk Bird?
So fuckin' hack.
Well, that's cool.
Okay, we might be a little fucked.
Did you think I would let you die alone, Richard?
I am Mr. Nimbus!
You -- You still got time for that movie?
I had nothing but time.
At first, it was madness.
Then madness again.
But perhaps it was a gift.
I could see the life of time.
And as I watched the life of time
in all its fleeting, terrible light,
I wondered, had I lived?
Was I just the object in another's story?
Was that all I ever was? Could I be more?
I had nothing but time and still no answer.
Time without purpose is a prison.
I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity.
Perhaps the mind of God.
And found nothing but silence.
I think we should just be friends.
I-I-I get that.
Guess we missed our moment.
Yes. But there will be more.
For both of us.
Hey, how's it going?
Fuck off! I'm a Time-god!
Fighting by your side again, Richard.
It was, uh --Yeah.
Then there is no treaty.
Because there is no war.
That's -- That's really chill of you, man.
Before you were my greatest enemy,
you were my only friend.
Grandpa, I got the shell! Shit.
-听着 宁波 -王八蛋 叛徒
Okay, Nimbus, look. You son of a bitch!
Betrayal! My weapons, Morty!
I-I-I used them all! Grandpa!
Wait, Grandpa, what do I do?
I have the shell. Should I blow it?
Is that -- I'm -- I'm just gonna blow it!
Don't blow it! Destroy the horn!
What the hell, Summer?!
You were supposed to destroy the horn!
How was I supposed to know that?
Take this piece of shit to jail.
I told, ugh, I told you.
He's an ice-cold dick killer!
Wait. So how can he --
天啊 夏茉 他是宁波
Jesus, Summer. He's Mr. Nimbus.
He controls the police!
Jer, I think more than one safe word
sort of defeats the point.
I know, I just wanna make sure
we have every opportunity to stop.
Super excited about it though.
Me too, so excited.
Jerry, are we doing this because we both want this?
Or because it's what we think the other one wants?
I just wanted to prove that I love you so much
I would do this for you! Same!
Let's take that prize and get out
before we make a huge mistake.
Getting cold feet?
-Please don't tell Rick. -He wouldn't understand.
Yes, he would.